Have summed up the courage to share my story & my introduction to the Panic Attack:-
Twenty-eight years old and I'm heading to work March 2017. I felt very dizzy on the train to work and light-headed. I'm thinking about money and how stressful my job is as a Call Centre Representative. I decided to get off the train early to go for a walk and noticed I feel very light on my feet. Something's not right. I get into work and sit down.
I take my first call and feel like I'm almost dreaming and struggling to string a coherent sentence with the gentleman on the line. It's like I'm in slow motion while the world around me is operating in real time. There's a client standing right behind me and this is making me more stressed out. Somehow, I get through the call while feeling like I was having an out-of-body experience and detaching from my body.
I asked my colleague in front of me to fetch my team leader as I think I'm going to faint... Right now! My TL arrives and I ask if we can chat in the boardroom for some privacy. I explain I feel very faint and not well at all. I can see they're concerned as I'm visibly shaking, pale as a ghost and slow to respond. Not one to call in sick and with perfect attendance I was grateful my TL suggested I go home. I somehow made it out of the building.
I'm in survival mode now: One foot in front of the other and I can make it back to the train station. Tried calling my GP but it's 1 PM on a Friday and no answer. My heart is racing while I snail my way back. I feel so light on my feet now it's like I'm walking on clouds. Arriving at the train station I questioned whether I could make it onto a train with such an enclosed environment and nowhere to run. This is an emergency I thought.
I take a seat at a bus shelter opposite the train station and call 999. I explained I feel very faint and my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. The operator advised me not to drink anymore water and stayed on the line with me the twenty minutes or so until the paramedics arrived. Now quite emotional, I let tears roll down my face envisioning the end was near. The ambulance pulls up and the paramedics ask, "What's wrong?".
I explained my symptoms and they hook patches to my chest to monitor vital signs. One paramedic asked If I had taken any drugs. I explained I don't do drugs I was just heading to work and experienced these awful symptoms. All my vital signs are showing as absolutely normal: No problems. I agree to head to Accident & Emergency for assessment. In a wheelchair I'm taken into the queue and eventually given a glucose tablet by the nurse for my symptoms.
Now later in the evening with my emotions subsiding, I'm able to leave the hospital and make the train home. At this point I'm feeling completely exhausted and bewildered with still no explanation to what had just happened today. Now home, I crash out.
I book an appointment with my GP for the next working day. Thinking there was something seriously wrong with me my mind is racing with every worst case scenario and this is filling me with more dread and anxiety. At the GP's office I couldn't believe it as the symptoms all begin to appear again and I'm struggling to deal with the ten minutes or so that I have until my appointment in the waiting room. I make it to the practice hallway and I'm brought literally to my knees with sheer debilitating fear and anxiety.
Hoping nobody would notice I pretend I'm tying my shoelace as I struggle to stand up. In survival mode again, I realise I need to make it to my appointment and fight my way back with everything in me to the waiting room. My name is called out and I make it to my GP. I completely break down in a physical and emotional mess shaking uncontrollably with fear. My GP immediately looked concerned and took a pulse to monitor my blood pressure.
Still very concerned they asked me how I was getting home. My Doctor recommended I come back again for a blood test as I was in no condition for that today. I was also slipped their personal direct number and asked if I could call them tomorrow so they could know that I was okay and then tear up the number. I'm forever grateful for this act of compassion and knew it must look serious if your GP gives you their direct number to ensure I quote, "In the land of the living".
I stumble out of my GP's practice feeling once again light on my feet and realise I'm in no position to get the bus home. I phone a taxi during rush hour for the 30 minute ride home. In the taxi my symptoms of panic must have been obvious as the poor driver looked stressed out and concerned for me in the frustrating rush hour traffic. They didn't charge me the full off-peak fair I can only attribute to them thinking I was seriously ill on my way back from the GP.
Once again I get home exhausted. During this time I began reading about my symptoms and realised what I had experienced was a panic attack! The moment of realising this is indescribable. I wasn't going crazy after all! I'm absolutely certain I had just experienced panic attacks. Full stop. The physical symptoms are there and very real but it originates from the mental disorder of anxiety. Maybe that's why it's so hard to diagnose I thought.
Having had professional help for anxiety over the years I had no idea this could escalate into full blown panic attacks. I returned to my GP and explained I'm absolutely certain I had experienced a panic attack! They refused the blood test, smiled and said, "You've essentially self-diagnosed". They gave me two weeks off work and told me not to worry everything will be fine. I was honest and told my employer upfront it was an anxiety attack. They told me if I need any help to come forward any time and this approach worked out well for me.
I wouldn't say I'm cured but I'm now aware of the disorder, the symptoms and chose to laugh at myself on that occasion returning to work in the face of something so frightening.