Calorie Counting

[Flying Stars]

Hi all

Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this at all.
I’m currently living away from home (first time) in a completely different place in new ish job. I’ve always been on the slim side. After a horrible break up and traumatic situation at my last job (both of which I left in February this year) I’ve been obsessed with how I look.
I think it stems from blame and thinking there’s something wrong with me as to why my ex treated me how he did and why things went so wrong at a job I once loved.
Anyway, at the time I slipped to 8 stone (which for my height - just under 5ft 7 is too thin).
Since then I’ve gone up to a healthy 8 stone 7lbs but I’m in constant fear of putting weight on. Hence for months I calorie count every single day in a bid to loose weight. I try to stay under 1,300 cals but because I’m hungry at times I can just binge out.
It’s like a bad cycle.
I’ve briefly mentioned it to my therapist before but not no detail. (I see her for a lot of grief related things from my childhood). It’s just become an everyday part of my life of checking if my tummy is sticking out and then weighing myself whenever I spot scales.
I went away on holiday a month or so ago and put a pound on yet hated myself for it after.
Just wish I knew where to turn to stop. :(

[Soda]

This definitely sounds (I don't want to diagnose or worry you) like the beginnings of an eating disorder, even if you aren't actively trying to lose weight you are actively afraid of putting the weight on.

You need to bring this up to your therapist in more detail, once you tell her that you are afraid of putting on the weight she will be able to work through this with you and get to the root cause.

It is an obsessive act to count calories but, when it gets to point where it's affecting you in a physical way it's no longer just mental and needs to be brought up to a professional.