Liver lesion, h pilory, and severe panic attacks

[julieta79]

I have spent this whole year in daily panic over having some type of cancer. Actually at least few months due to microhematuria in urine (after many tests, they said its just my "normal"). Next for 6 months, I was sure I have throat cancer, as my lingual tonsil is enlarged. I visited at least 6 doctors for the first issue, and at least 8 for the second. And yes, everyday I was sure they have missed "my cancer".




Fast forward to experiencing mild discomfort under left ribcage, which brought me to ER. My left side pain was not explained in the ER, but they found "incidental" liver lesion. Speedy referral to liver specific Ct scan in UCLA and I basically said good bye to my 5 year old. During the scan I had constant severe panic attacks, so they had to restrain me. I was sure its cancer, of course.



One of the best liver radiologists in UCLA read my Ct scan to be either FNH or adenoma (both benign). These lesions are followed by monitoring as there is less than 1% chance that they misdiagnosed it, so I have an MRI scan on Dec3.

Once I got into this, I started to feel sick, not able to get out of bed, having low grade fevers, etc.

Tests indicated that I have h pylori. Got very string antibiotics, and I have finished them 2 weeks ago.

From there, I have visited 5 gastrologists, 6 general practitioners, and two additional Emergency rooms. My symptoms are pressure in the epigastric region, feeling sick, mildly nauseous, and lost some weight.
Basically doctors tell me the liver thing is 100% benign, I might have mild gastritis, OR nothing, and its all in my head.My liver enzymes are normal, everything is normal, and they just don't suspect cancer. My last gastro guy told me "I know you don't have cancer, but I am not sure how to convince you".



I don't know what to do...I am in constant panic, absolutely sure that all these 20 medical practitioners are missing something.

I know its not all in my head, as I do have active h pilory infection. But my brain goes to medical sites, learns how to read Ct scans, reads medical studies how there are few cases of liver cancer that was missed on CT scan, or maybe I have stomach cancer? Or esophagus cancer?


Can anxiety be super severe and cause you to feel sick for real? Hard to believe


I tried to ask my medical dr to refer me to psychologist, and she did, but the wait is 2 months, AND because I LOOK so normal...she nicely suggested "why don't you just do the MRI and endocsopy if it will give you mental relief"...and here we go again...more tests, no help.

[RadioGaGa]

With respect, this sounds like a very severe case of health anxiety. We're all guilty of excessive test-searching/doctor-visiting, but that is A LOT of times you have visited various clinicians.

Helicobacter pylori (H. Pylori) infection is common. Treatment is usually a PPI (Omeprazole) and a macrolide antibiotic such as Clarithromycin etc.

With respect of your stomach issues, I can't see in your post if you're on a PPI. You should ask your Doctor for a rx.

Antibiotics can also cause gastric upset, so the symptoms relating to your GI tract could be a protracted effect.

Gastritis (benign) can also cause your symptoms.

I really don't think you have ANYTHING to worry about, as countless doctors have told you...

Good luck.

[julieta79]

Right, I understand. If I didn't have a LIVER lesion, I would probably not get so worked up. But you see, liver met or liver cancer...is like the end. And sometimes this thing can push a stomach, or cause digestive issues. So i guess I became so severe because the alternative problem is very severe. There is no fighting chance. there is no chemo, etc...
Needless to say i completely understand that i have severe health anxiety...plus some symptoms that are probably benign.


But how do you deal with the panic?


When "normal" people read heir CT scan, and it says "favoring benign process", do they not get scared at all? I contacted the radiologist and she kept saying things like "it looks more in line with benign process. Your best next step is an MRI, and if that is not conclusive, a biopsy"


Gosh...so the fact that she is using words like "conclusive" or "favoring"...are making me sick to my stomach


PS. I am off the PPI as I need to retest for h pilory in 2 weeks. I do not think PPI has helped me as I had the same squeezing gastric pressure even when I was on them during the treatment. I have no improved at all...

[AMomentofClarity]

But how do you deal with the panic?

Medication + Therapy.

While waiting for a psychiatrist, why not discuss medication with one of your numerous physicians and get time with a therapist?

[julieta79]

I did. As I said, every dr treats me "normally" because I am intelligent and I can mask my problem. I joke about it...you know. I sound so damn convincing I guess. And I have great medical insurance so tests are getting ordered.
I know I am in very black hole currently, because I can't work, and I can't take care of my kid. Yet I go to a dr, smile, joke and sound funny...and he tells me...Oh just get a vacation...or do your MRI sooner



My family doctor basically said I am too functional.

[AMomentofClarity]

My family doctor basically said I am too functional.

You’re either full of it or need a new doctor. When I was at my worst, I was high functioning in a good corporate job, yet my mind was a mess. One visit to my doctor, told him all of my health fears, walked out with a prescription for an SSRI. A few sessions of therapy and a few months later, I was myself again.

This stuff is only as complicated as you make it.

[julieta79]

Got it. Well I am probably not honest enough OR because I read so much about symptoms, I sound convincing. Or maybe they just act polite and gossip behind my back...who knows. I do know that my parents are devastated, my husband is angry, and I will lose my job any minute.
I get into a dr every few days for reassurance, then it resets within 48 hours. The classic.


I also tried my own exposure therapy...visiting cancer centers...to get used to the cancer thing. It only brought me more and more severe panic attacks. What a sad life...



In any case, I took your note and called my insurance and begged for someone to see me so I will be at a psychiatrist office on Nov 28.



Thank you. I know how annoying is to read "crazy" posts as sometime I myself will be like...seriously...this person's worry is totally ridiculous.

[RadioGaGa]

julieta79

If there was a tumour in your liver big enough to cause a shift, to subsequently cause reflux, you'd be able to feel your own liver, jaundice and so unwell you wouldn't even notice the GORD.

Yes I know there are stories online, with sensationalist headlines like (we'll use your example) "my reflux turned out to be terminal liver cancer!". But what those stories don't mention is the person often would have other symptoms, much more obvious and worrying, besides the reflux.

I personally have never heard of a patient with a liver tumour (either primary to the liver, or secondary) present with reflux as the only symptom. And, professionally, I'm based in a Cancer Centre which has a large patient throughput every year.

You definitely, absolutely, 100% need to see your doctor with regards to therapy and medication. I say that out of compassion and not criticism.

I myself was being equally illogical and obsessive over a mole about two months ago. So I knew that was time to arrange CBT.

We all need to enjoy life more

[julieta79]

Thank you. I don't get offended whatsoever. I am very aware that I have severe mental problem. It all started when prenatally I tested positive for cystic fibrosis gene, my husband was tested for 1000+mutations, and he was clean. But I obsessed a bit, and then forgot...
Baby was born...and we get a letter in the mail...your child tested positive for cystic fibrosis. Wtf! Turns out there are some mild genes that they don't test prenatally, so that you don't abort your kid...my kid is 6, and fine...but we are still sitting on time bomb there.
Next for 2 years I suspected something is off with his development. We went to at least 20 doctors. At age 3, my husband almost divorced me because he was so sure I am crazy...the kid turned 4, and diagnosed with Aspergers. He is so high functioning that no one could get it early on. Now I see that because he is so smart, it didn't really matter if he can meet some diagnosis, as he is doing just fine...but it was traumatic to have a horrible fear and then all drs were wrong.



From there, I have worried about every horrible disease on the planet, always wrong. Bruise=leukemia. Dizzy=MRI scan...you get it. Very very severe form.


My lesion is 1.9cm. I saw the CT scan and I learned how to read it. My lesion had hyperenhacement but no washout. Because it is small, they did not find a scar, which would give 100% confidence that is it FNH.
Most mets are hypoenhancing, not hyper. And most liver cancer has washout.



The reason I post this is mostly to show my own brain how BAD my condition really is. I bet even the most sophisticated hypochondriacs didn't learn how to read CT scans with such precise detail and calculate the odds ( only 5% of liver cancer happens in healthy liver, only 1% of that is in females, and only 1% of that 1% does not have washout on CT scans) :(


It will be the best day of my life...if I have one full day free of these horrible thoughts.


PS. I don't have reflux. I have gastric pressure, sometimes hard to breath type. I have some mild temperature elevations...up to 99.5 in the pm. And a general feeling of being sick. All these can be "h pilory"...but it would have been nice not to have them while dealing with liver lesion

[Sparky16]

It sounds like you have had some unfortunate surprises with your child's health. I'm glad you were able to get into the psychiatrist sooner. Have you considered getting some counseling specifically directed at your reactions to your child's diagnosis? I'm wondering how much your anxiety over that is generalizing out into anxiety over your own health.

I do odds, but I draw the line at reading my own imaging. I avoid seeing them for that very reason. In fact, I have an arrangement with my doctor to not see any of my labs. If there's a problem, tell me, otherwise I don't want to know and end up over analyzing what is low normal, or low high.