Liver lesion, h pilory, and severe panic attacks

[julieta79]

Thank you. Thats a BS too. It made my condition worse, but I was always obsessive. I had MRI for diziness before he was born. And I was obsessed with getting only As in college, causing daily panic attacks.
So I basically discovered the world of health anxiety...due to my kid...but I always belonged somewhere in the mental health community.

[LE]

Hi

I have a liver lesion that was diagnosed incidentally when I went for a scan for gallstones. That was Oct 2010. This kicked of my ha so I totally get what are you saying about the panic.

At the time they also told me it was more than likely benign but the same I you I started looking things up and reading horror stories. I also had gastritis. I had mri and was told benign. Then had follow up 6 months later. Then it was 1.5cm. I was then discharged.

Fast forward to last year and I had a gallstones scan again. I was worried because I knew the liver lesion would be seen. It had actually grown to 6cm in the 7 years. Consultants were not concerned but ordered another mri to compare the one form 7 years ago. They told me benign. But to be 100percent scans were sent to specialist liver unit in another part of the country and they also came back and confirmed benign. They still don’t to this day have a name for it other than it is benign.

I have no problems from it, I wouldn’t know it was there even though it’s grown. It’s easy for me to say this but they know their stuff and they told me in the past when I would say how can you be sure it’s not cancer. The response was ‘because we know what cancer looks like and yours doesn’t look like that’.

Happy to chat if it helps.x

---------- Post added at 00:54 ---------- Previous post was at 00:52 ----------

P.s I meant to say that there was no change in the first 6 months. It was 1.5cm when first seen and no change 6 months later.

[Weasley123]

I’m so sorry u r suffering so. You really need help so you don’t waste your life. Wreck your marriage and traumatize your kids. I had a liver lesion discovered incidentally at war years ago 4 I think. I never even had follow up. I was told it’s super common in woman. I worry about everything. I worry about my live4 because I drink 🍷. I never worry about that lesion

[julieta79]

LE
Oh thank you for this!!! I needed it so badly. Having liver something is not easily ignored by HA brain.
My lesion has a name...either one or another benign type. My MRI is in a week.
I am so so happy to read your story...esp since your "lesion" grew to 7cm and is still a nothing and you have no symptoms.
Yes, they know. Esp when I checked my radiologist is highly trained professor in liver lesions...and I emailed her to look at the scans bunch of times.
Basically everything screams its all in my mind...but oh boy, the anxiety is causing real and severe symptoms...and gastritis on top of that.

Thank you!

[Sleepy]

When I had my gallbladder removed two years ago, they found a lesion on my liver which they removed. It was 2cm. I spent the next week convinced that was it. I begged to go for my post-op early and the surgeon was bemused as to my distress and haste. Turns out these lesions are perfectly commonplace and are not symptomatic. I wish he’d told me at the time! To me, liver masses were a no-no. He said they often occurred in women who take HRT. Well I don’t, but there you go.
It made me much more sensible about jumping to conclusions.
Hope things get better for you soon x

[ta333]

Hi. I was diagnosed with FNH a year ago. Between when they found it on the scan and the MRI was three weeks, which I spent panicking 24/7. Its great news that they basically have told you that you're fine already. Remember, doctors really can't reassure you that much in case of being sued, so the fact that all of them were able to bodes really well. I know how hard it is to deal with something like this, but you're almost done with it. Also, anxiety can make you feel physically ill. Over the last few years, I have gotten many physical symptoms of anxiety, which caused me to think I had so many illnesses. Once you calm down mentally, it can take months to get over the physical symptoms. Good luck with the MRI.

[jojo2316]

Wow, you are bright, educated and in overdrive! Somehow you need to slow down, but it’s not easy. There are no easy answers to the predicament you are in; no quick fixes. You recognise your problem, you understand statistics, but you are also aware that black swans exist- sometimes rare and extraordinary things DO happen. You seem to be arming yourself with more and more knowledge as a way of coping, but I’m guessing it is giving you no relief!
I myself relate to much of your story. For me, my lesions are in my lung. Found incidentally, probably benign, but to my kooky brain utterly terrifying. I also ended up subscribing to radiological journals and studying images and statistics - and going rapidly MAD. I also weadled my way into speaking to my radiologist on the phone. She was lovely, but radiologists are not required to have superior bed side manners and she ended up making me feel MUCH worse by saying (as an aside), “I mean it wouldn’t be lung cancer, the only sinister thing it could be is metastasis” ONLY!!!! Cue psychological meltdown. And SUCH a lot of wasted time “educating” myself.
In the end, for me, for these particular lesions, time was the thing that helped. It passed, they didn’t grow. But of course my HA is a bigger problem - and ongoing.
I do hope you get yours under control
An earlier poster is right: medication and therapy are the way forward. Tackle it before it beds in too deep.

[julieta79]

Yes, thank you. I cope with uncertainty by reading hardcore medical publications. For the last 5 years, I come up with an ilness to worry about, then become such expert (theoretical that is) that my doctors' vague reassurances often sound not precise, not deep enough.
For example when this was useful, when my son had his mild genes for cystic fibrosis, I managed to convince a pharma and Harvard to test a drug which most likely will cure adults with his genes. Its a long story, but yes, they are testing it. My obsession will bring value there..but it triggered my mental demise

So I have been obsessed with medical science ever since.
But now I know how to diagnose brain cancer, multiple sclerosis, agressive breast cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, oral cancer, bladder cancer, kidney cancer, liver cancer, stomach cancer....and more, with deep medical understanding (on paper, zero practice). My mind is sick.
And I got liver lesion.
And its hell
Yes, usually I live 5-6 months in a shell of myself, I dont really die or get worse, and so...it becones obvious that I didnt have that cancer that I thought I have. Then move to another cancer.
I am utterly scared to touch my neck or breasts...as I will always worry of touching a new lump.

PS. I am not hopeful of treatment to be honest. Maybe drugs. No one can delete all these statistics, all these articles. My brain is full of data.

---------- Post added at 14:23 ---------- Previous post was at 14:10 ----------

Did they conclude its FNH on the MRI. Problem is, what if MRI is not conclusive?! It happens apparently with small lesions. I have already watched videos of liver biopsy. Uh I live in prison, mental prison that always always wins against logic

QUOTE=ta333;1838373]Hi. I was diagnosed with FNH a year ago. Between when they found it on the scan and the MRI was three weeks, which I spent panicking 24/7. Its great news that they basically have told you that you're fine already. Remember, doctors really can't reassure you that much in case of being sued, so the fact that all of them were able to bodes really well. I know how hard it is to deal with something like this, but you're almost done with it. Also, anxiety can make you feel physically ill. Over the last few years, I have gotten many physical symptoms of anxiety, which caused me to think I had so many illnesses. Once you calm down mentally, it can take months to get over the physical symptoms. Good luck with the MRI.[/QUOTE]

[Sparky16]

Wow, you are bright, educated and in overdrive! Somehow you need to slow down, but it’s not easy. There are no easy answers to the predicament you are in; no quick fixes. You recognise your problem, you understand statistics, but you are also aware that black swans exist- sometimes rare and extraordinary things DO happen. You seem to be arming yourself with more and more knowledge as a way of coping, but I’m guessing it is giving you no relief!

Jojo, I love this, as I think it summarizes the situation for a lot of people on this site.

Julieta, you sound miserable. I agree that medication might be the answer for you. You have to break the obsessive cycle before you can start addressing the way your thoughts work. I'm in sort of the same situation, although not quite to the extent you are.

[ta333]

It was only diagnosed as FNH on the MRI. Before that, my gastro had thought it was a hemangioma or an adenoma. I wasn't able to hold my breath accurately during the scan & it was still conclusive. If they have any doubt, they'll have you redo it. Don't even think about the biopsy. You'll probably never have to have it.