depression made worse

[lonely]

it makes my depression worse when i get awful comments from health care professionals, i just received a letter back with diagnosages on ranging from anxiety depression, deliberate sef harm throughweght reduction cutting
then the one that got me and really hurt my feelings which isn't true possible attention seeking behaviour, so that will be on my notes now and it isn't true, it makes me not want to seek anymore help and they wonder why i want to give up fighting
if i was attention seeking i would of told the whole family not hid my problems for last year or so, and i would of mentioned eating probs etc earlier to doctors, they only have to see notes to see another gp had concerns about my weight etc about 5 years ago and i thought i never had a problem with it, but it has got worse, even my manager used to think i suffered anorexia but i denied it to her too, and she was the only person i could talk too
she said i always gave 100percent at my job even on my off days
soo cutting and not eating and the overdoses are attention seeking? according to them, do they not realise how hurtful saying things like that can be to people suffering anxiety and depression as it is, making people feel more down then ever
yeah i wanted to die because i wanted attention, if i wantted attention id do something else like stand in street and shout like im mad, not be shy like i am and hide, be too scared to speak to men and to scared to have more then one person in the room with me at consultations
it makes me afraid to say how ive been doing the last few weeks or so when asked by doctors, so i say oh fine or ok, to try and hide it all.
just because people with anxiety and depression don't have broken limbs doesn't mean we don't feel pain inside of us does it

[Angelai]

Yes, we DO have pain and we are 'broken'. I know how much worse it makes you feel when this sort of thing happens. It must have been 10 years ago, maybe more, when I actually got to see someone other than my gp for the first time. They basically told me that there was nothing they could do because I wasn't actually mental, and implied that I just needed to 'pull myself together'.

My current gp is lovely, and always listens sympathetically. She will ask me how I want to proceed etc. Problem is, whatever I see her for, be it an ulcerated throat or back pain, she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I feel that her mind is made up that I am 'just' anxious/depressed, that there is nothing physically wrong.

I don't feel able to make appointments any more, and spend even more time now googling my symptoms

Don't give up, keep on til you get the help you need. And I promise I'll try to do the same