Morning

[Aquilega]

Good morning I am not usually negative and this post probably won't get any replies,but I have had anxiety for 30 years,this time I am seriously contemplating ending it all,now I am a rational person but I am so worn out and depressed,I have over the years tried all medication and I know this is a silly way to feel,but cannot get to see a doctor not that that would help as it would just be more pills,I am not taking any at the moment and haven't for 6 months,they never helped anyway,I am not overweight and physically fit, I go for long walks every day and feel good physically,I have everything to live for and have always loved life but at a young 73 feel that this is it,my apologies for this post,but just had to tell someone how I feel at the moment,thank you for reading my post

[pulisa]

I just wanted to say that I've also had a lifetime of this and have done all the "right things" etc etc. It IS hard to motivate yourself to keep going but believe me, if you choose to take this route you will leave so much grief, distress and destruction behind you. You say you have everything to live for so maybe this is just how you feel at the moment but even so, you did the right thing by expressing it in words on here.
Have you ever spoken about this to anyone because you really need to. What about the Samaritans? They wouldn't judge you and would only want to help you.
I'm sure other people will say the same. There is always someone on the end of a phone and it doesn't involve waiting.
I'm really sorry you are so low. Managing anxiety and depression is very debilitating and sometimes the days are very dark but we get through them somehow. I'm sure this post won't help you particularly but I just wanted to say that I understand and empathise and I hope your mood lifts and life becomes a bit easier for you.

[Aquilega]

Thank you @Pulisa and @Raindrops much appreciated its just the ligh headiness that brings me down 24/7,enjoy your day my friends