terrible lymphoma fear

[mocata]

hello! my aunt had hodgkinson's (low grade i think) at 28. i am 17 atm. i'm so terrified of developments it's impeding my ability to do coursework a bit, which feeds it in return.... my main symptoms:

• 0.9-1.3cm lump in the middle of my mastoid bone. i found it two and a half weeks ago. painless and rubbery. i think slightly movable but sometimes difficult to differentiate from the skin above. at the moment it feels like a stout moon shape (the curve is the side i have poked often) but im unsure :( i think it fluctuates and is rounder in the mornings but may just be anxiety levels. sooo scared it has gotten slightly bigger (1-2mm?) (but likewise unsure)
• a little secondary lump underneath ~ .2-3mm
• pains all over the body, esp. q. bad aching in the legs. i've had muscle tension from the back since last november, can be quite bad some times... also sleep paralysis/fitful sleep since discovering the lump, and once my hands seized up for a few secs whilst sitting?
• the bit behind my left knee feels swollen, and the surrounding muscles i think are a bit swollen also. although my left leg is v. slightly shorter.
• the left side of the stomach also slightly swollen? but i think it might have always been this way

i saw two gps who sorta said it's absolutely not cancer, probs a cyst and they wouldn't take chances if it felt off but i'm a bit doubtful because i don't think they felt the slight irregularity of it since it can seem circular if u don't press down to the harder part. they seemed to just sorta give it an offhanded massage lol! and um they know my history of anxiety so im scared they will dismiss me too quickly for both our sakes :(
im not so afraid of lymphoma itself as of terminal cancer. i haven't lost any weight, not v. tired despite terrible sleep, can still run about, good appetite...

thank u for any response x

[mocata]

also if my aunt had hodgkinson's, would i not be susceptible to NH lymphoma? pls any responses, even if u can't be totally reassuring, it's just a bit eerie the silence around this thread.. and does anybody know if fast-growing lumps are more dangerous (i thought they probably would be lol!)

[Fishmanpa]

Facts: 17yo, no physical symptoms, admitted "fear" of lymphoma, posting on an anxiety forum and two medical professionals not concerned.

Positive thoughts

[mocata]

Facts: 17yo, no physical symptoms, admitted "fear" of lymphoma, posting on an anxiety forum and two medical professionals not concerned.

Positive thoughts

i think lymphoma is one of the commonest cancers in the young, and i do have some physical symptoms aside from the lump... were they not concerning? (thank u though!)

[Fishmanpa]

but i think lymphoma is one of the commonest cancers in the young, and i do have some physical symptoms aside from the lump... were they not concerning? (thank u though!)

That was a very typical HA response to reassurance. You original post is textbook hyper-awareness, self examination and excessive poking and prodding as well as a push from Dr. Google. Have you spoken to your parents about getting help with your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

[axolotl]

i saw two gps who sorta said it's absolutely not cancer, probs a cyst and they wouldn't take chances if it felt off

Then this is your answer. Any number of randoms on an anxiety forum cannot beat the opinion of medical professionals who have actually examined you.

but i think lymphoma is one of the commonest cancers in the young

You have to be very careful with words like "commonest". The thing is cancers are very rare in the young. It's not that one's "common", it's the least rare rare thing.

Have you spoken to your parents about getting help with your anxiety?

This is really what you need to be exploring with doctors, as you're no age to be bogged down with these fears. Good luck.

[mocata]

That was a very typical HA response to reassurance. You original post is textbook hyper-awareness, self examination and excessive poking and prodding as well as a push from Dr. Google. Have you spoken to your parents about getting help with your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

Yes but it is a long wait... it's ok tho.. and all my symptom knowledge is from nomorepanic haha! Hope I am not sounding dismissive, these answers are reassurance. I think I am asking because it feels like a fluid symptom, so it is tempting to check and reevaluate. Also my doctor told me I could have an ultrasound if it was still there in 3-4 weeks (just for reassurance but it was a bit.. oof an element of unease). But I see u are correct in what you say

---------- Post added at 18:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:02 ----------

And I think I am seeking any reassuring bits of information rather than a reassurance or judgment addressed directly to my condition

[axolotl]

And I think I am seeking any reassuring bits of information rather than a reassurance or judgment addressed directly to my condition

There's no "judgement" from me, I'm a fellow health anxiety sufferer. But all I will do is give you is challenges to faulty thinking, because if your anxiety won't let you believe reassurance from medics on your specific fears what chance has a random bloke on the Internet?

[mocata]

There's no "judgement" from me, I'm a fellow health anxiety sufferer. But all I will do is give you is challenges to faulty thinking, because if your anxiety won't let you believe reassurance from medics on your specific fears what chance has a random bloke on the Internet?

O no but I meant by judgment like a semi-diagnosis ('u have cancer'- because this would be too much to ask of the Internet!) rather than a negative emotive response