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General Anxiety / Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) General Anxiety or Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). Please also read this Website page: Anxiety
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  #1  
Old 31-05-04, 21:58
imported_n/a imported_n/a is offline
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i really dont understand???

i am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with all this anxiety and slight agraphobia,,
as you are all probably aware mum has just come out of the hospital for a knee replacement,,
she is ok and no real problems with her knee although tonite i went round to look after her for the evening and she was having some bowel discomfort ,,so i called the dr for her and they said she would have to go and see the dr ,,big big problem for me the doctors place is only around 2-1/2 miles from my home but ahhhhhhh i said i CANT take you and she said i would have to,,,
well i made all the excuses they was available ,,,like well they shouldnt expect you to go all that way when you have just had a knee op and you cant walk and ? and? i guess you all know the excuses,,,
but you see there sould be no excuse for your mum surely?????????????????

so anyways i did the best i could to get out of going and called the pharmasist for some advice knowing i could get there,,he was great and said come in and i will give you something for your mum,,so i did and everythings fine,,,


but the bottom line is i SHOULD have been able to go to the doctors with her ,,i mean she has looked after me all her life and been there for me ,,,WHY CANT I DO THE SAME FOR HER???????????????

i cant beleive how scared i was just at the thought of haveing to go ,,,


sorry for waffleing on really needed to get this off my chest as i feel such a failure at the minute for letting the panic beat me once again!!!!will it ever end????

thanks guys ,

xxxdarrenxxx


WHY DO WE LET THIS ANXIETY RULE OUR LIVES THATS WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND???????? [:X] ""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""
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  #2  
Old 31-05-04, 22:23
blossom blossom is offline
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Darren, You have done really well, I was in the same boat as you when my son was small, he was not well, and I rang the doctor, and he told me to come to the surgery for a prescription for him, but I could no way go, he knew I suffered from agoraphobia, and still insisted that I had to collect it, but even though my son in my idol, I had to pay the lady next door some money to go for me, I was too afraid to go, so I know what you are feeling,
I ask myself the same question, WHY WHY I can understand you, but the doctors just do not understand, they make me sick at times, anything to get out of it themselves, dont reproach yourself, he had no right expecting your Mum to go after just coming out of hospital after an operation anyway, think of it, he is at fault, no one understands unless they have had the anxiety themselves.
You did great getting to the chemist. Bless you Darren, Dont blame yourself, you have explained your position to your Mum, so I feel sure she understands. Bless you Blossom
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  #3  
Old 31-05-04, 22:30
imported_n/a imported_n/a is offline
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HI BLOSS ,,
THANKS FOR YOUR KIND WORDS ,,it is so difficult at the moment,,i do truly think i am loseing the battle ,,,but hey with a site like this and all you lovely people how can i,,

thanks bloss,,

xxxxdarrenxxx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""
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  #4  
Old 31-05-04, 22:39
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Meg Meg is offline
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Darren,

The fear was 2 fold . Firstly the distance on an unfamiliar route secondly being responsible for Mum and being asked to take her somewhere which is additioanl pressure.

My understanding on your progress is that you did really exceptionally well and actually got to the hospital . Then on the day you were to actually visit you had a difficult journey - for reasonable reasons- and didn't get there but since then haven't really done much with it and have felt quite low. Is that right ?

It is reasonable therefore that your confidence is low and that you are extra nervous of going shorter unfamiliar distances than a week ago.

The way through this is do get on your bike and continue your evening trips out - various directions - various distances .

Don't always plan to 'beat your record' but do as it feels .
If you stop doing them , your boundaries may close in again.






Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone
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  #5  
Old 31-05-04, 22:46
imported_n/a imported_n/a is offline
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hey hi meg,,

thanks so much that does make alot of sense ,,its just so difficult living on your own,,hey i am not after sympathy for that i do prefer it that way ,,,

meg you should get paid for your advice its great and really helps,,

everything you said there was correct,,

thank you so much meg,,


xxxxdarrenxxxx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""
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  #6  
Old 31-05-04, 22:57
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Meg Meg is offline
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I do agree Darren.
Living on your own and not having live in support and someone to push, encourage and bolster you does make it harder but it is not unobtainable at all. The fact you kept it quiet so long too makes it a more individual thing too.

We will all support you each day for as long as it takes, but you have to do the getting on the bike/car/walk.

I am happy to come up to Hull to visit you if you think it would help-(no charge) but you have already proved you can do it- which is more than half the battle -but you need to keep doing it and doing it and doing it ad nauseum .... so I know you can be fine .


Doing it once only will not convince your innards that it's fine.






Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone
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  #7  
Old 01-06-04, 00:07
benoo5 benoo5 is offline
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hi darren,your mothers just out of hospital,having had general anaesthetic,which can often lead to bowel problems,but your doctor should have made a house call,its well known in the NHS,that GPS,want more money,for doing less,and its people like your mother that suffer!

youve done so well lately,with your agoraphobia,and its obviously taken a lot out of you emotionally,so i would suggest you start,with..LITTLE STEPS..take one day at a time,and do a little more each day...remember,just going 20yards more today,than yesterday,is a success...think of this my friend,you cant run a marathon,if you dont take the first step!

best wishes darren......bryan.
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  #8  
Old 01-06-04, 00:45
stimpy stimpy is offline
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Darren you have done ever so well lately.
Don't keep beating yourself up.

Everyone has phases of not being able to understand what is wrong with them, I think it is all part of the disorder. It it takes a lot of getting your head around the fact that you have been chosen by some higher force to suffer this dreadful anxiety problem.

I have to agree with Bryan, the doctor should have come out to see your mum. I personally would have said I was agrophobic and couldn't get her to a doctor, see if that would have got a bit more help out of them.

Hang in there, things will get better, but it takes time and a lot of practice.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
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  #9  
Old 01-06-04, 12:17
lilac kitten lilac kitten is offline
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Darren,

I think you're coping really well. Yes things will be difficult at times, but you coped fantastically given the circumstances.

My father (god rest his soul) never understood my panics and anxieties, but he always gave me really good advice, he made me feel I could do anything. He knew the right words to say. He couldn't convince me to drive on my own down a long motorway though!!

We have a saying at work that you are more productive doing what you can do now, than taking loads of time to do what you can't and not getting the doable done first. I think thats self explanitory and it works in life as well. Build on what you can do now and don't waste any more time worrying about the impossible for now. By building on your strengths you will overcome the impossible. Life will throw you little challenges from time to time, and the best way to cope is to sit down and work out how best you can solve that challenge given your goalposts. This is exactly what you did the other night - so you see there is nothing wrong in what you did and how you did it, and you were there for your mother helping her.

So good for you, hope you and your mum are feeling a little better today.

Ruth
x
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  #10  
Old 01-06-04, 12:29
sweetwater sweetwater is offline
 
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just take little steps darren...one at a time...
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