Son's ex-wife in ICU

[MyNameIsTerry]

^I'm not sure Viagra was quite what fishman had in mind.

[pulisa]

We all can dole out advice but it's often hard to readjust long term habits just like that..You both love and care deeply for your partners and only want the best for them. Maybe it's a question of caring too much and taking on too much emotional baggage which always has repercussions when you have an anxiety disorder? The irony is that both ladies would be alarmed if you both "stood back" and would wonder what was going on..

[AntsyVee]

We all can dole out advice but it's often hard to readjust long term habits just like that..You both love and care deeply for your partners and only want the best for them. Maybe it's a question of caring too much and taking on too much emotional baggage which always has repercussions when you have an anxiety disorder? The irony is that both ladies would be alarmed if you both "stood back" and would wonder what was going on..

True. The only way to really change the bad habits of a family system is to make the whole family aware of the problem, and from my experiences, into therapy.

[fishman65]

They probably would Pulisa. Who's this organicspotify or whatever? Seems like he's following me around.

Anyway Mrs F has once again taken on the role of Mr Rochester's insane wife locked in the attic. She's implying that I told her she must shield upstairs. For the umpteenth time I've said she was given the option of staying up there, not an order, an option. But by being forced to stay up there, she can play the victim. There is no lock on the door, nothing at all preventing her from coming down here. So round and round the mind games go. At least its never boring? That has to be a plus.

[AntsyVee]

that organicspotify was some spammer that put random links on everyone's threads last night.

[pulisa]

They probably would Pulisa. Who's this organicspotify or whatever? Seems like he's following me around.

Anyway Mrs F has once again taken on the role of Mr Rochester's insane wife locked in the attic. She's implying that I told her she must shield upstairs. For the umpteenth time I've said she was given the option of staying up there, not an order, an option. But by being forced to stay up there, she can play the victim. There is no lock on the door, nothing at all preventing her from coming down here. So round and round the mind games go. At least its never boring? That has to be a plus.

Do you actually want her to isolate herself upstairs on a 24/7 basis?

[fishman65]

Do you actually want her to isolate herself upstairs on a 24/7 basis?

That's a good question Pulisa. When she's like this I'd have to say yes, but in the long run, no I don't.

[pulisa]

That's a good question Pulisa. When she's like this I'd have to say yes, but in the long run, no I don't.

So when do you think it would be safe enough for her to come downstairs again?

[fishman65]

So when do you think it would be safe enough for her to come downstairs again?

Ideally when we have a vaccine but that could be next spring, so that option isn't realistic. There are no easy options, I don't like her shielding on the one hand because she's isolated. But then if she contracted covid with her comorbidities? The bottom line though is that I'm not keeping her there, she does have a choice and she's not stupid. She can weigh up the pros and cons herself and come to an informed decision. I would respect that decision but am aware I'm over protective at times.

[pulisa]

It must suit her to stay upstairs though because otherwise she wouldn't stand for it.

My son works in a supermarket and he has chest, heart and kidney issues. He's obsessed with working though and would far rather take his chances with covid than isolate. He's not even bothered about catching it. I suppose he thinks if he caught it it would be in the line of duty, so to speak.