I need some perspective Pleeeaaassee!! Bowel worries

[Melon1]

Hello Everyone

Not posted for a long while, which is a good thing, but am feeling sad that I am back to this sorry state.

Okay, this could be a long one. Please take time to read it and see if you can help to work out my feelings. I am not expecting a diagnosis, just some friendly words.

So, I have been feeling some left abdominal pains intermittently over the last few weeks and have had looser stools. Sometimes going just once per day, other times 2-3 times. I can't remember the last time I did a solid poo... sorry.

So, just over a week ago, I went to the docs. She examined me, (felt stomach, finger up bum) said she wasn't overly concerned, but wanted to do a blood test. I had this done the next day.

The next day, I started to come down with a bit of a cough and didn't feel quite right. I went to bed that night and woke up the next day feeling not too bad, so decided to go for a run (I'm running the London Marathon this year... I know crazy!) . I was planning on running 13 miles. So, I started out and pretty much from the start realised that I wasn't quite feeling it. I used up my fluids in the first few miles and after mile 11 felt so awful, I had to phone a friend to come and get me. I got home, shivering so badly, jumped in a hot bath and from then on felt dreadful.

Since then, I have had night sweats, no appetite, snotty nose, no energy at all. I had no temperature throughout this. (It has been 6 days)

So, the day after I come down with this, I get a phone call from the doctor asking me to repeat the blood test as my white blood cells are very low. lmmediate panic.... why is this?? So, luckily I get an appt for the following day and get them done. I then get a call on Monday saying that the doc wants to see me as the WBC is still low! I see the doctor yesterday. She examines me as I have a couple of lymph nodes that are raised... She felt my groin area, neck and breast area. she didn't seem overly concerned. She had a chat with a haemotologist who said my wbc may be down to the fact that I am fighting a virus. So, I've got to wait a week and then get the bloods done again. I have booked in for next tues. (Just to mention that all other aspects of bloods were fine)

So, I've gone from Bowel cancer to Lymphoma within a few days!! My head is all over the place.

I am lying here typing on my laptop, feeling my cramps and needing the toilet. I have had no energy today. Putting one foot in front of the other has been hard. Is this still the virus, or my anxiety or cancer... what the hell is it ???

I've just been reading my old threads from 2011! It all sounds so familiar to me, but I still can't shift the feeling that I have cancer. It is destroying my life.

I phoned a free counselling service today. It is called Positive step. They offer one to one counselling as well as CBT classes. I have tried this in the past, but nothing has completely worked for me. But, I really feel that I need to give this another bash for my poor families sake. My lovely daughters have no idea how I am feeling. I try so hard to remain upbeat and positive and am trying to do lots of fun things with them in half term. It is so hard. I have a telephone session booked with them for the 5 march, then can hopefully meet face to face.

Today, I have had no energy. I have the low abdo pain. Been to the toilet 3 times. Loose. I weighed myself earlier. I have lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Just not hungry. I keep crying. My poor husband came home to me in tears earlier. He is a saint to have put up with me for so long.

Is anyone able to make sense of the above, or is it just a crazy ramble? Just don't know anymore... I'm so afraid of my wbc not going back up and of all my bowel issues....

Thank you so much for reading this. I hope I am able to help one of you one day.

Love

Helen x

[Scass]

Hi Helen,
Sorry that you’re going through a scary time at the moment. It’s horrible how we can make the mental leap to worse case scenario so quickly.

It really does sound like the bloods are as a result of your virus, and that’s what’s getting you down as well.
The bowel stuff could be anxiety too. That after - Christmas spell.

Let in know your results x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Melon1]

Hi Scass

Thank you so much for replying to me. It means a lot to know that someone is there. So, last night, I had to force myself to eat tea. I usually have a great appetite, but am just not hungry in the slightest. I am not getting on the scales again as losing 5lbs without trying has scared me to death.

I am not hungry for breakfast this morning. I still have pains in my left lower abdo region and lower back pain. My groins ache too. I can't help but jump to conclusions.

One minute I am thinking I have bowel cancer, then next I am worrying about my white blood cell count and raised lymph nodes. Rationally, I think the wbc could be down to me having a virus, but I just can't help my mind wandering.

My repeat blood test is not until next Tuesday and then the doctor probably won't get back to me until the Thursday, so I feel as if it's all an age away and I have just got to plod on feeling like this.

It's half term and I should be loving life with my children. I am trying to remain jolly for them, but it's very hard. They are watching tv while I am typing away here. I shouldn't be doing this for gods sake!

Is anyone else feeling low at the moment? I have had episodes in the past where I truly believe anxiety and being hyperaware of my body and every symptom made it 10 times worse. I hope this is the case this time.

Does anyone else find it hard to be happy anymore? Even when I'm on holiday nowadays, it's almost as if I have a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach as if I am waiting for something awful to happen. It's hard to explain, but I just want my happiness back.

X

[jojo2316]

Hello Everyone

Not posted for a long while, which is a good thing, but am feeling sad that I am back to this sorry state.

Okay, this could be a long one. Please take time to read it and see if you can help to work out my feelings. I am not expecting a diagnosis, just some friendly words.

So, I have been feeling some left abdominal pains intermittently over the last few weeks and have had looser stools. Sometimes going just once per day, other times 2-3 times. I can't remember the last time I did a solid poo... sorry.

So, just over a week ago, I went to the docs. She examined me, (felt stomach, finger up bum) said she wasn't overly concerned, but wanted to do a blood test. I had this done the next day.

The next day, I started to come down with a bit of a cough and didn't feel quite right. I went to bed that night and woke up the next day feeling not too bad, so decided to go for a run (I'm running the London Marathon this year... I know crazy!) . I was planning on running 13 miles. So, I started out and pretty much from the start realised that I wasn't quite feeling it. I used up my fluids in the first few miles and after mile 11 felt so awful, I had to phone a friend to come and get me. I got home, shivering so badly, jumped in a hot bath and from then on felt dreadful.

Since then, I have had night sweats, no appetite, snotty nose, no energy at all. I had no temperature throughout this. (It has been 6 days)

So, the day after I come down with this, I get a phone call from the doctor asking me to repeat the blood test as my white blood cells are very low. lmmediate panic.... why is this?? So, luckily I get an appt for the following day and get them done. I then get a call on Monday saying that the doc wants to see me as the WBC is still low! I see the doctor yesterday. She examines me as I have a couple of lymph nodes that are raised... She felt my groin area, neck and breast area. she didn't seem overly concerned. She had a chat with a haemotologist who said my wbc may be down to the fact that I am fighting a virus. So, I've got to wait a week and then get the bloods done again. I have booked in for next tues. (Just to mention that all other aspects of bloods were fine)

So, I've gone from Bowel cancer to Lymphoma within a few days!! My head is all over the place.

I am lying here typing on my laptop, feeling my cramps and needing the toilet. I have had no energy today. Putting one foot in front of the other has been hard. Is this still the virus, or my anxiety or cancer... what the hell is it ???

I've just been reading my old threads from 2011! It all sounds so familiar to me, but I still can't shift the feeling that I have cancer. It is destroying my life.

I phoned a free counselling service today. It is called Positive step. They offer one to one counselling as well as CBT classes. I have tried this in the past, but nothing has completely worked for me. But, I really feel that I need to give this another bash for my poor families sake. My lovely daughters have no idea how I am feeling. I try so hard to remain upbeat and positive and am trying to do lots of fun things with them in half term. It is so hard. I have a telephone session booked with them for the 5 march, then can hopefully meet face to face.

Today, I have had no energy. I have the low abdo pain. Been to the toilet 3 times. Loose. I weighed myself earlier. I have lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Just not hungry. I keep crying. My poor husband came home to me in tears earlier. He is a saint to have put up with me for so long.

Is anyone able to make sense of the above, or is it just a crazy ramble? Just don't know anymore... I'm so afraid of my wbc not going back up and of all my bowel issues....

Thank you so much for reading this. I hope I am able to help one of you one day.

Love

Helen x

Poor you Helen. It sounds like you are ill with a straight forward virus and your anxiety has skyrocketed causing all sorts of other symptoms on top of this. You sound like you are very fit (13 miles!) and you clearly were managing those distances before you came down with your bug. Be kind to yourself and allow your body to get over it...
xxx

[jojo2316]

Ps
i think most sinister things cause HIGH wbc not low. Low wbc is usually nothing to worry about.... (but I’m no doctor...)

[Libra96]

Hi there,

I just wanted to say that I've felt like you a lot in the past. Particularly about 5 years ago after a virus I started having unusual bowel movements. I would go about 3 times a day and they would usually be loose. It scared me because it was unusual and I didn't experience pain so it kind of ruled out something less sinister like IBS. I put off going to the doctors because I found it so embarrassing. All I can say after months and months of worry, I don't even think about it anymore. They just become more normal. I don't really know what it was if it was just some kind of change or just my anxiety even. I wouldn't worry, you've been ill and any kind of illness can have an effect on your digestion and toilet habits in my experience. You're not alone, I've felt this way a lot, hope that helps X

[Jdruce]

Didn’t want to read and run, obviously I’m not a doctor but it really sounds like your wbc is likely to be down to your body fighting the virus, and if you are training for a marathon that would explain the weight loss maybe? Maybe it’s IBS and certain foods or allergies are triggers? I know full well what it is like to descend into a black hole of panic. I’m in one now (it’s a recurrent thing that retightens it’s grip on me every few months), so my heart goes out to you. Try and keep yourself busy if you can, just with little tasks that may give you short bursts of relief even if for only a few minutes at a time. Maybe an online quiz game or doing the crossword etc. Best wishes.

[Elliejane44]

Hi helen

just wondering how you doing ?

might it all be from your training and being run down

Ellie

[Melon1]

Hi All... please don't think me ungrateful for not replying to your comments. They really do mean a lot. thank you all. I have been so busy with work lately...

I thought I should update.... my WBC count has improved. Still not quite back to normal, but I am booked in to have a repeat blood test in two weeks time.

To be honest, I am not worried about that anymore. The bowel issues have taken over. I am still getting a pressure feeling in my bottom and front area. My bowel movements are still loose. I am finding it so hard to work out if it is bowel, bladder or lady bits. I am getting intermittent pain in these areas.

I am worried about bowel, bladder cancer.... I saw a doctor on Monday and she prescribed me some Buscopan and told me to start taking Probiotics. I have read up a lot on these and I am going to get some. However, I am not convinced this is the problem. I started taking the Buscopan yesterday and it has not made a blind bit of difference.

I have looked back on my previous posts and the symptoms I have are very similar to what I have experienced before. My rational side thinks, 'come on, chill out and just see if the symptoms subside'... my anxiety says 'Yes, but this time the symptoms are worse!!'. It could be something serious...

When I go to bed, the symptoms subside and I wake up feeling quite relaxed. Then this wave of anxiety overwhelms me and Back to Square one!! The pains and weird feelings begin again and carry on all day!.

It's all really pissing me off to be back in this situation again. The running training is so hard when I feel like this. Incidentally, I managed 13 miles on Friday... My husband says that surely, if I can manage 13 miles I'm fine!! I'm not so sure.

I know that the brain is so powerful that it can make symptoms worse.... I know this from first hand experience....The brain makes you hyper aware of any small feeling when you are in the throes of anxiety. My mind can wander off and then BANG,,, back onto trying to feel these sensations.... I am just plain weird...

So, I hope you are all having a good evening... Well, better than me in any case. I am trying to be positive. Just off to cook some pancakes and will check in later.... Thanks for all your comments XX