Hello, I am new to no more panic however I have been an avid reader for some time. I have suffered with hypochondria since I was 17 (I am now 28) and have feared most illness which have resulted in me having numerous medical tests most of which I have funded privately. This has caused me to struggle financially but thankfully I am not in debt as a result of it. Every time I obsess about an illness I am convinced that "this time it's real"
I have fallen foul of body scanning and dr google. I also seek reassurance from others and doctors. I avoid medical tv programmes as I fear that these may have me convinced that I have a new illness.
I wanted to speak up as I know all of you on this forum are going through what I am going through. I know that I will not find the reassurance that I need from this forum... I just want to speak to people who understand me! I will only get better by seaking the right help. I have tried SSRI's and cbt but neither worked and I fell back into my old habits. I only get worked when I have symptoms. When I am symptom free I tend not to worry.
So what fuels my anxiety... I think it's a fear of death and the unknown. It's human nature to want to survive against all odds and live. I guess it's the way our body's are programmed. There is also other worries like financial and family issues that can arise as a result of being ill. These also make me scared.
A little bit about me. I don't drink or smoke tobacco. I am a normal weight however I do not exercise regularly and my diet is not good. I recently became a father 5 months ago of a wonderful baby boy however he can be stressful and finally my job is stressful at times and I work long hours but I do love my work and can not think of anything else I'd want to do. My work requires me to be fit and at the moment I feel very unfit.
Back in 2008 I recall that I became breathless. This happened suddenly I recall waking up one morning and walking to the bathroom. I felt breathless. Something didn't feel right. I also experienced fast heart rate, chest tightness and the feeling of not being able to take a deep enough breath. These symptoms ultimately resulted with me attending a&e. I was admitted to hospital where I had a series of blood tests specific to the heart, physical exam, ECG, chest x-ray, echocardiogram and liver and kidney blood tests. All tests came back normal. The dr did say that there was a small amount of fluid around the sack that lined my heart. I was given a diagnosis of post viral fatigue and told to take regular ibuprofen.
I felt relieved and thought "ok I got worked up but everything is fine" I assumed my symptoms would improve but unfortunately they didn't and my health anxiety fear began to raise its ugly head again. I decided to get a second opinion and opted to see a consultant cardiologist. I explained my fears and that dr google told me I was very ill. the cardiologist examined me and agreed that he did not think that my symptoms were related to a cardiac disorder.He agreed that my symptoms were probably post viral.
Hmm end of worry? No. Over the course of several weeks I persuaded him to conduct investigations into my heart which namely comprised of another echocardiogram and an ECG stress test. Again the results were all normal. I felt relieved that there was no evidence of a past heart attack or heart disease.
The dr told me I had performed well on the exercise test and achieve a target heart rate of 94 percent. (13.8 mets)
In the intervening 2 and a half years I felt palps with minimum exertion. However these were occasional and I manged to not get upset about them. In july 2011 I had a return of my fast heart rate and breathlessness with minimum exertion. These symptoms were now accompanied by chest pain that was constant throughout the day. The pain moved from my upper left beast, my left side and shoulder blade. The pain would also radiate to my jaw and left arm. I also had pains in my left leg. I began to panic and thought blood clot or heart disease. I decided to visit my cardiologist again. He examined and performed an ecg, my cardiologist thought I was suffering from post viral symptoms again. He said he could bot hear any fluid around my heart and stated that considering I had a negative stress test and echo that it was higBhly unlikely that I had developed a new cardiac disorder. Ok I felt reassured for abit however the pain got worse. So about a month or so later I went back to my cardiologist who said that he still didn't think my problem was heart related however he wanted me to have a chest x-ray, chest ct and some more blood tests. I have had my chest x-ray but haven't got the results as of yet and I am still awaiting my gp to arrange my ct scan and bloods. My symptoms persisted, feeling scared one evening i went to a & e and told the drs there my story and current symptoms. They did some blood tests and a resting ecg. All were clear and thet basically told me to go away. Since this I have visited my cardiologost again and he seems to think that my symptoms are not related to any heart problem and said that he is 99 percent sure my symptoms are not due to a medical problem. He then said he only ordered the chest X-ray, ct scan and bloods to rule out possible problems. On our last meeting he reviewed my negative tests with me (heart echo and exercise ECG from 2008). He didn't even examine me and suggested that I start citalopram again. I have not disclosed to him that I have health anxiety but he is beginning to see the cracks. I do trust my cardiologist but I fear that in the intervening years between my negative tests with him and now that I may have got heart disease or it was missed last time.
I admit that I am feeling low at the moment but I feel that I am being fobbed off. I feel short of breath walking 50 yards or so. I struggle to walk around holding my baby due to chest pain and shortness if breath. I also am exhausted walking up stairs or hills. I feel scared and alone because none of my family know what I'm going through, I feel ashamed that I am a hypochondriac and if I am I'll I will feel weak. I am unsure whether I should arrange another exercise ECG, I doubt my cardiologist will arrange another for me so I will probably have to find another private doctor. I don't want to put these symptoms down to anxiety and miss any obvious medical cause.
I have arranged to go back to my gp tomorrow to discuss my ongoing symptoms.
I am apologise for the long post, I just wanted to air my feelings. If I bored anyone im sorry however I'm confident that everyone reading this post will know what I'm going through.
I hope everyone feels better soon or remains feeling anxiety free.
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Re: >>> Hello I'm a hypochondriac with... Heart worries<<<
