Yeah I have to say I’ve thought the same as melfish as well.
I also agree with pulisa that you seem to post to get a reaction.
Reading your posts I switch from believing that your whole purpose for being here is to get people going and concern that you have deep psychological issues which are not being addressed at all. The first is tolerated here so you could go on doing it for years. The latter is like just marking time until you end up harming yourself or something equally tragic. Either way you have an audience and I guess that satisfies some need in you.
I really doubt that her Mum has read this,
All manner of thing shall be well... (Julian of Norwich)
I'd rather think about anything than this stuff. I'd sooner deal with emotional problems than physical ones. I don't think there's some deeper issue here. I'm just afraid I'm dying.
And I'd never hurt myself. I'd do anything to avoid hurting myself.
---------- Post added at 10:00 ---------- Previous post was at 09:27 ----------
For what it's worth, it's REALLY REALLY nothing to do with getting people going. I have 0 interest in that. In fact, people often react more strongly than I expect. Perhaps my radar is off because I've been isolated for months now.
Also, people close to me have said in the past that I display elements of autism, so maybe it's that. Who knows.
As for the deep psychological issue... I may well have one, but it's been brought about by fear for my life.
That answer is affirmation that it's emotional/psychological as opposed to physical. It's your reaction to what for all intents and purposes is a benign physical reaction to the physical and emotional trauma of your miscarriage coupled in with some interesting tidbits you've revealed in this thread.
As for hurting yourself? Again, what you've described here in this thread, IMO, is a form of self harm. Exploring bodily cavities with devices and digits and describing it in detail to a forum of strangers and ordering/taking drugs outside of a doctor's prescription is not the norm I assure you.
As far as dying? In a sense, you are in that this is your life. Home bound, all your waking hours poking, prodding, Googling, posting.... Is that really living?
Anyway... it is what it is right?
Positive thoughts
"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon
The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/
[QUOTE=O_O;1751821]I'd rather think about anything than this stuff. I'd sooner deal with emotional problems than physical ones. I don't think there's some deeper issue here. I'm just afraid I'm dying.
And I'd never hurt myself. I'd do anything to avoid hurting myself.[COLOR="blue"]
I think that being so afraid of dying that you're living your life as an orifice-inspecting hermit is surely a deeper issue?
I don't think it is normal to be having increasing pains three months since the miscarriage completed, though. It just seems too much to be coincidence. First the difficulties getting the tissue out, then the slow HCG drop, and now the pains. To me that all points to something.
And I am doing far fewer self exams and less googling than I used to. I do post a lot though.
---------- Post added at 11:10 ---------- Previous post was at 10:14 ----------
Dr Roberts rang.
Everything was normal apart from one thing. My CRP inflammation marker was less than 1 but my ESR inflammation marker was 19 which is a bit high. However, Dr Roberts said as a standalone result it didn't mean anything.
However, I'll need further investigations with the gyne. Dr Roberts said I might need a laparoscopy which of course I would need to be asleep for. I may also need a hysteroscopy.
I have to say that as a parent of 2 adult children on the autistic spectrum I do recognise traits in how you present yourself on here. This is just my observation but could explain your need to document everything and your need for logic and facts in order to mask any emotional shortfall.
I don't understand what's going on, my dad just called my mother to ask her to collect him from the hospital as he'd just had to go in with breathing difficulties!?
Literally what is going on at the moment.
I hope your dad is ok. Xxx
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