Feeling depressed because you dont feel normal

[LolaBee6]

Hi , Im Laura , 24. I suffer badly with anxiety and depression. The Dr has signed me on sick so I cant work at the moment.
Today I had a bad start. I woke and cried because I just want to feel normal. I want to work , have my own home , get married and have children.
My partner works , hes currently trying for a full time job , I just keep wishing that I could cope with it. That I could work.
I feel all panicky and teary when I think about getting a job.
I want to be self employed but Im so scared I will fail and let people down.
I dont know what to do , does anyone else feel this way ?
I really feel alone in all this

[SeroxVet]

Hi Laura. You are not alone. I'm sure there are many people here who can relate to you. I know I can. I have felt the same things many a time and I'm currently out of work too, apart from the odd temp job. I feel so bleak when I think about the future in terms of work/life. Have you worked in the past? You need to think about getting some help. Has your doctor spoken to you about the options? Medication, therapy?

[LolaBee6]

I have worked in the past.
In my last job I collapsed through a panic attack and hit my head ... This is why the Dr has put me on sick .
I am currently on Fluoxitine .... But I dont feel like Im on a strong enough dose as Im only on 20mg .

Thanks , its good to know Im not alone.
Just sometimes , when I try to explain to people , they just dont understand. Because they work etc, they just think anyone and everyone should. No one seems to quite understand depression and anxiety unless they suffer from it :/

[PinkRoxy]

Yes I feel like that a lot. You are not alone. Apparently it takes six weeks for the effect of fluoxetine to work. I've been on it for two weeks and haven't had much effect yet.

I hope you do start to feel better soon and I understand its hard. I've been crying straight for the last three days and its tiring but I just cannot seem to not do it.

[Falling_Slowly]

My boyfriend works full time but I have the same problem as you and get bad anxiety at the thought of working.
I feel awful because he works so hard and his family probably think I'm just lazy and don't want a job when that's not it at all!
I really want to work but just panic at the thought of being relied on and having to commit to it.
I'm 23 and have worked before but always quit because I get anxiety attacks and bad depression =(

[LolaBee6]

I have been on fluoxitine for about 4 months now it was working well. I didnt have a major panic attack at all for a whole month. But now all of a sudden I feel like Im slowly going back to square one.
I was the same with work. Always ended up quitting because I would panic. The thought of being around people I dont know makes me panic .... Although Ive done it before , I just cant handle the feeling of "what if it happens again" (me collapsing in work again)
I didnt know at that time , that I was having a panic attack , I just felt ill and it terrified me when I came around after hitting my head. It was only a few seconds but I just couldnt cope after that .
Im so glad Im not alone in all this.
Its a really scary feeling , when you feel alone and especially when you feel like your going backwards instead of forwards .

[LolaBee6]

Thank you Raindrops
It is horrible. It makes you feel like you wont get any where in life :(
I want a full time job and everything that comes with it but Im just too ill right now and I find it hard to think positive about the future , yet at the same time I want it all right now :/
I feel left behind , all my friends have everything I want and there all younger than me (-.-)

[keepchinup]

i feel God hates me at times, you know. like i am cursed. and im like why me? But i think you are supposed to look at people who are going through more in their lives and still coping. also, it is useful to find some shoulder to cry on. yea and no one gets deprssion and anxiety- they think im really lazy so im trying to cope with this scary thought that ill lose my mind again.

[LolaBee6]

I think there should be a leaflet , that tells people about anxiety and depression and tells them what not to do !! I am going to speak to my Dr tomorrow about it so I will let you know what she says

The word 'lazy' tends to get brought up a lot though :/
I think we need this to get sorted
I dont know about you , but when I get called that , I feel worse than ever and start to panic ?

There must be something we can all do to help one another ?

Im so sick of feeling low all the time .
I woke up yesterday shaking and crying for no reason , then found out my friend had died at the age of 20 .... I mentally cant cope , its driving me nuts.
I do fel the same though , keepchinup. Like everyone hates me and everything is against me.
Its like , you try so hard to do good , to help others .... Yet you get beat down by mental illnesses and you dont know why.
I wish there were answers to all of this (-.-)