Occupational Stress

[rcs]

I am posting NMP after some time away. I have taken more time off my work after an abortive attempt to return to my Ship as i am in the Merchant Navy as a deckhand and going on board a ship for 4 weeks whilst i am suffering from anxiety and stress is too much for me. My employers are trying to understand but the more time off i take and letting them down at the last moment must be frustrating them as it is me.

I was diagnosed with GAD and various other anxieties about 10 years ago and i take 40 mg Citalopram and sometimes Zopiclone and Propranolol.
I worked up until November knowing i was struggling with anxiety ,insomnia and sore shoulders and back which can be debilitating. I also can be irritable, impatient and have poor concentration especially with paperwork and bureaucracy which seems to be increasing in this industry every month.

I am fine with the risks i take in my job with storms and working with heavy machinery and i thoroughly enjoy some aspects of my job and i realise that my anxiety problems are not entirely caused by my occupation but many other areas which are probably too numerous to mention. My job seem to be one of my main triggers for anxiety and i am working through CBT and Mindfulness to try and understand the reasons for this.

I have tried several times to change career but because of my background and financially i have went back to working on Ships in the oil industry and i have the problem as well that i struggle with change in my life both at work and in my home life. Anyway i am tired of all the upheaval and explaining myself to family and friends who always say they thought i was doing well and then are disappointed when I am not.

I don't know where i am going with this but it helps sometimes to write my thoughts down.
Robert

[Melsuk]

I can empathise with this. I would like to change jobs (from social work in the voluntary sector) due to limited opportunities with gov cuts and also the culture. Recently following a series of by chance life events my old anxiety has come and bit me on the ass which has meant I’ve had to pass up a promotion as I’ve had to take 2 months off (in part for physical issues but that lead to anxiety and emotional ones).

Like you I have risks in my job - working with challenging behaviour and offenders - which weirdly does not give me anxiety (I guess I’m already prepped with adrenaline and I know what I’m doing with that) but bitchy cliquey colleagues and I’m thrown.

Not sure what my point is... at 3am lol but that you’re not alone?


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[rcs]

Yes i agree dealing with work colleagues is a stressful and frustrating and when you are not feeling well its a minefield.
All careers and lifestyles can be different but the stresses and anxieties can be the same, i am sometimes bewildered at the severity of anxiety at times especially just now as it is bad.
It is catch 22 going to a job feeling rotten and not dealing with it well or resigning and giving in to it and then back on the job market again ..

[Melsuk]

I feel I’m failing on phased return to work again. First time was for a physical decline but I’m just not emotionally able to give the energy to the job. I’m looking at reports and the words scramble.

I don’t know whether it’s worse to go off work again or to be in and less productive than everyone else, to sit and feel this bubble between myself and the already cliquey team?

Eurgh lottery win


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