Disturbed sleep from depersonalization and nerves

[phil06]

Just came on here as I can't sleep and my mind is racing. Every time I get intense Depersonalization like clock work it takes me hours to sleep, I eventually get 1/2hours, wake up about 4am or 5am and have to catch up on sleep early morning. It makes me feel unbelievably run down not sure if it's a combination of the symptom and no sleep.

It started with failed driving tests but I gave that up early November. Sticks on my mind a little but the nerves have carried on..now get them anytime use to be in the car..now here's an example..any fuss/event I put a football coupon on and felt I'd go crazy if I won, I never it eased, but I was buzzing away. Christmas all the fuss is having a blind effect on my nerves as I feel so geared up for nothing.

My symptoms last night/this morning have been:

Sick feeling (got the cold making it worse).
Restless.
Racing mind.
So ill.
Really tight squeezing head when I lie on my pillow.
No sleep.
Worry, worry, worry on my mind about coping/not coping.

Hard to explain..feel so distanced from reality. I duno what it is about DP that stops me sleeping..

Sucks feeling this way don't see my counsellor until 11th Jan and I ordered a book Claire Weekes nerves maybe come in the post after xmas.

The outcome of these nights even 1 hour disturbed is I feel REALLY crappy all day, run down, fatigued, knackered, more weird. I've had 3 or 4 nights like this usually every second night.
Symptoms all the time it's just so difficult. Had a walk yesterday..not much good as I feel crappy..moderate on the caffeine...small amount of relaxation but not much. I want to use self help as much as I can if it keeps up this level obviously I'll have to see the doctor.

I do try to cope and get over this it's just these nerves..like needles seriously..I can feel the tension in my skin all the time I feel pumped up alot. It's a more complex stage bit chronic as it's something that only occurs in panic but I read a few on here suffer to this degree. Seems hard to believe it's not a serious illness, the more the DP comes back over the weeks the worse it feels..can't stress that enough.

I just wanted to get it off my mind, searching the forum there's a few posts similar to mine..I want to know why this DP is destroying my sleep? it sticks around like this for a few weeks until it's something else. And yeah I totally feel I duno who I am anymore..lay in bed feeling trapped as there's so much you can do when you don't fear going out..but right now these nerves build up any place so Im safe at home.

Just don't understand all this mess...I mean what makes DP so bad for me is I feel so demoralised/disheartened not knowing who I am (the sensation)...it really startles me. I read the symptoms page how it really shakes a persons like posture and mind and that's how I feel..really tangled up in a Webb almost. So accepting it is hard because the way it miffs my life..read countless times about it but don't get why some have it in flashes but how can it stick around like so intensely. If there was some way of knowing or accepting..feeling that it's ok for it to shake me I'd maybe be ok..but it's just so difficult..that and feeling I'm mad really the worst symptoms of anxiety..

Also it all started as panic attacks yet now it's just different attacks on my nerves..really don't get it. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough to stop feeling this way who knows.

[phil06]

Update:

Still feel ill..really bad cold shivering, cold, numb..feel sick..can barely eat a thing..

Feel spaced out still and awful...

Been to sleep twice..once at 10am went for another sleep and just up after a 2 hour sleep there..

No use still feel bad. Not sure I've ever felt as run down before..

[keval]

Hello Phil,

Just wanted you to know that your calls for help are not disappearing into the ether.

I'm pretty new around here and it is with a degree of trepidation that I am replying to your thread. Why? Because I live with a constant background fear of doing something wrong. But it's Christmas Day and I suspect that it is a little quieter than normal on NMP. I may be wrong.

However, I wanted to ask - are you getting professional help with your disturbed sleep? Indeed, are you receiving any form of professional help?

When you say "It started with failed driving tests...", it struck a chord with me. The mental pain that I experienced many, many years ago from repeated driving test failures meant that I gave up. Enough was enough! I may pick up the gauntlet again but I'm getting on in years!

I wish you all the very best at this difficult time of year.

keval

[Lion King]

Hi Phil06,

Is there anything that used to make you relaxed before?

I started with built up tension and stress from work in the last few weeks, I tried sleeping first as I felt run down but never felt any better so I decided to use my gym membership. I have hammered the gym everyday and I feel much better as well as regaining self confidence, I set myself mini targets/goals to beat each time and the better I get the better I feel, it is a buzz but its also a form of distraction to enable my body and mind to rebuild and refocus.

Just a thought, I know everybody is not interested in the gym but its upto you, it is whatever enables you to switch off and rebuild.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

Lion King

[ChrisK]

I know exactly how you feel, for sake of relief, you are definitely not alone. The "lost " feeling I get as though I'm anything but a floating consciousness in the pool of confusion just waiting to die. First off, drink some relaxing beverage for your nerves (tea?), and I suggest you an activity which drives your body to synchronize with your mind, like exercise or any activity which uses up your five senses, just to prevent yourself from succumbing to those emotionally toxic moods. Lots of hugs and love. Have faith.