My derealisation is getting worse.

[hannah26]

Hello.

I'm scared that my DR and DP have turned in to something else, my thoughts are getting increasingly more weird and I feel scared.
I had a thought this morning that I was hanging upside down on the world, which ok we sort of are but I can't feel it, but it set of a panic attack and freaked me out.
I'm scared that I'm going to lose all touch with reality and I won't believe people when they tell me that I'm wrong. I'm scared that I won't go back to normal and it feel like a life sentance. I'm scared when I look at the sky, I'm scared when I think about the world beneath me.
I look at things say a wall and it makes me feel scared as though its not really there or its going to zoom at me and freak me out.
I worry that I'll lose all control and go crazy. I feel muffled as though there is a sheet of plastic over my eyes all the time, and I'm just a step behind everyone else. I feel like I'm detatched from this world and I can't reach anything because I can't really feel it.
I sometimes feel like I have lost my physical senses like touch, taste, smell and they won't come back.

I'm even scared of having a bath because my bathroom scares me, it doesn't seem real, I think its because when I first started feeling like this that where it happened.
I can't concentrate very well, I can't sleep, I've lost my appetite. I don't have a job and I'm finding it hard to focus on getting one. I don't want to tell my family how I feel because they thought I was getting better.
Its been like this since october now, everyday, 24/7. The only relief I get is when I fall asleep but I wake up with the same thoughts and they go on all day.

I'm sorry for the long winded post and sorry if I sound like a complete crazy person. But I just don't know what to do. I was having cbt it healped but then it stopped. I was on tablets but they made me worse.
What can I do now, I feel like giving up and stop fighting because I'm never going to win and be normal again.
I feel so sad that my life has turned out like this it never used to be!! I was so happy before, I had goals and dreams and its all gone.
I don't know what to do now.
How do other people cope, are you still happy even though you have this? I just don't know!!
Hannah x

[owls]

Hey don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry, you can't help for having something you can't control.

First, let me just say that this explains me EXACTLY. I have it 24/7 and 90% of the time I have my dp/dr, I feel like everything is unfamiliar and I feel like i'm just detatched from life. Do not give up on your hopes and dreams, how old are you? You sound relatively young, are you in college? What I find helpful (so far...) is getting on a basic sleep schedule and eating healthy so my body can feel somewhat normal even though I don't. Therapy helps and my medication helps me (Wellbutrin for depression and Seroquel for anxiety)

If you keep building fear from your anxiety (of dp/dr) it will get worse. I know its very hard to deal with but you can't let it win. I let it win and I just can't do anything anymore. I find it hard to even leave my room.

[ShakingSquaddie]

Hang in there Hannah!

It is quite normal to have wierd surreal thoughts!

The difference is that when a non anxiety sufferer has them they are meaningless and float away un-noticed!

When we have them it's a sign that we are going completely mental because our minds are tuned into interpreting every strange thought we have.

When I go through this I still manage to get up and go to work because deep down there is nothing mentally wrong with me it's just my brain is filtering out good things and it feels really wierd.

Derealisation is a protection mechanism that kicks in when your mind perceives danger even if it isn't real.

Then we try to attribute reasons for the wierdness hence imagining that you are hanging on the world etc.

Anxiety=strangeness=anxiety=strangeness etc. etc. round and round it goes!

I've been to work spaced out and totally derealised but I now know that is is harmless so I try and stick to my routine!

Hang in there and you will get through this!

Gary

[mck]

Hi Hannah,
I can really relate to how you are feeling because I used to feel exactly the same, I had the spacey feelings or like there was a pane of glass between me and the world, the bizarre existential thoughts about the universe and time and existence, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because it did not feel like it was me looking back, I also found it hard to do simple things like having a bath because seeing my body made me feel like I was trapped in it and it would make me panic. I would also get overwhelming realizations that I existed or that I lived on a planet in a solar system and it would make me panic so much. Just about everything made me panic, even looking at the sky...Everything seemed so surreal and complex that it would make me doubt if it even existed. I also had a extreme fear that I was schizophrenic or psychotic but that is not true.

At the time when all this was going on I like you felt like I would never ever get better but I was WRONG, it really does get better, I do not suffer from this anymore...Even though it doesn't feel like it, all this is just extreme anxiety, it makes you attach fear to things that do not need to be feared and it causes you to become obsessive and analytical, it also causes physical symptoms like the spacey and detached feelings.

The things that helped me a lot were, Socializing - this is actually key to beating these types of feelings because the more you shut yourself off from the world the worse it will get. Exercise, healthy eating and working with a therapist to deal with your anxiety. I'm not too great on the whole advice thing but if I can get better then I know you can!

[HB12]

I don't get derealization as such but get bad irrational thoughts and emotions that make me feel sick. Sometimes I feel numb and lack emotion and feel like I don't love those around me even though I do! Anxiety sucks!

[natsplatt]

i get this too accupuncture has really calmed my thinking down its worth every penny x

[Jason727]

The things that helped me a lot were, Socializing - this is actually key to beating these types of feelings because the more you shut yourself off from the world the worse it will get. Exercise, healthy eating and working with a therapist to deal with your anxiety. I'm not too great on the whole advice thing but if I can get better then I know you can!

This is good advice, I too have this feeling everyday and everything mentioned above was the complete opposite of what I did when it started happening.

I used to spend a great deal of time with friends, then shut everyone out because of stuff going on with my life which had resulted in becoming an Alcoholic (currently recovering), and eating unhealthy, which cause me to gain 25 lb in 2-3 years.

I've been trying to eat better, kick the bottle, and started to socialize more. I just started doing this recently and although it hasn't helped yet, I think it might just take time. I'm 30 years old, and only started with these attacks about 10 months ago.

I don't know about you but this feeling to me, feels like the point in a dream when you realize you are actually in a dream and then suddenly want to get out of it, but can't. And when you think back to the rest of the dream, which is the equivalent to socializing and living your life, at least for me I feel during that time I interact with the dream and usually enjoy what I'm doing unaware its a dream.

It might sound crazy, but its almost like God gave us dreams almost like the Garden of Eden, and we are allowed to do anything we want in the dream, as a release from our daily lives, except have the knowledge that you are having a dream. If you develop the knowledge, you are cast out. I know that for me, usually once I become aware its a dream, even if its the best dream ever and I really want to stay in it, thats right when I wake up. Oddly nightmares seem less easy to realize they are a dream, and therefore I find them most difficult to awake from them.

I've posted on another thread about my experience, and what led up to my episode. A summary, to that other post, would be stress/depression which led to, anti-social behavior, unhealthy eating, Alcoholism etc. All of which I'm battling everyday to return to my previous healthy happy sober life style.

Unfortunately I can't post the link because its too new yet to add a url in another thread, I guess you need 10 or more replies to post.

[Campagne123]

i literally couldnt have explained how i feel any better . this is EXACTLY how i feel. i get thoughts that im habging upside off the world and then i panic thinking im upside down. or i panic that the world spins and it never stops spinning and i beging to feel dizzy. i have the weirdest thoughts and i feel like how do i know if im in a dream or not . and i notice that something is very off with the way i think. i always feel like my mind is racing and sometimes i dont even know what its racing with. my mind just feels busy and my eyes strain. also i cant leave Las Vegas and go out of town or else i panic . its a weird feeling like im too far from home and i freak out very bad . its so hard to explain . ive been on paroxetine and idk if that helped but at the time i didnt feel this bad. but now i feel crazy and ive stopped taking them. but im so scared to take them because i get so scared that im gonna have the side effects and freak out even more or have a stroke or seizure . i am just very scared of a lot of things but not just a normal scared its a panic .