My thinking is like a stuck record

[popsy]

Im feeling so angry about my anxiety tonight, i feel like it wrecks every waking hour i have. My thoughts are just constantly consumed by it, it feels like a stuck needle on a record, all i can think is "how am i feeling, am i anxious?" the whole time, i cant seem to think about anything else. It makes me feel so trapped in my own head, i want to break free from it, i want to just feel normal and think normal stuff, not just 'this' the whole time. I feel such a self absorbed person, only thinking about myself, how selfish!!!.... When will it stop... when will being an anxious person not be my prime thought ever single day!!!!????
When will i start to do things without having to think about them constantly first. When will i be spontanious again!!!!
I feel like i have no relief, or release from the pressure building inside of me, i cant even cry anymore not since they rasied my meds.
I just want to be able to live my life with out having to question everything i do and 'can i or cant i do this because i might panic', and then the whole time im doing be thinking "how am i feeling, am i anxious, can i do this, should i go home...etc".
Sorry i know im waffling, but i just want to be ME without having to think about it!!!!!!
Does anyone else feel this way? Have YOU come out of it, when does it go? Can i make it go??? Pleeeease any help????
C x

[marie1974]

hi charlie, soory you r down hun, it is really hard when u are feeling that way to think different, i have been like that too. i would try to keep busy though less thinking time and all that and set little goals every day even if they seem silly to do something positive. also write all the good things about you and stick them around the place and stick to those thoughts. mayb try brisk walking every day too, i do go on about it alot but it has been so good for my depression and anxietys and i also keep busy every day, stay strong hun hugs xxxx

[jesse08]

Hi Popsy,

I don't know if anyone can answer your questions about "when will I be spontaneous again" and "feel normal". All I can offer is that when I focus on how depressed (for example), I am feeling, then that's all I do and it doesn't make me feel any better. What we focus on tends to grow. Can you distract yourself at all? Some TV or a film? Donna's suggestion of going for a walk is good, if you can get out. Just some different scenery distracts the mind and a little exercise is always good. Perhaps you're just having a very bad day today and tomorrow might be a bit brighter. Sorry this isn't much help, but I do understand where you're coming from. Take Care.

[chalky]

Hi Popsy,

You have a great opportunity to redirect all that energy you are using in thinking negatively into positive energy.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
It has taken time to become unwell and it will take time to heal.
Try to focus all that energy on working at your recovery one day at a time.
Turn the anger and resentment into determination to fight this.
Keep believing in yourself.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Cathy V]

Something i have learned with all of this inward focusing, is that we've forgotten that sometimes its ok to be anxious about certain situations, and that even 'normal' people feel this way too. We are so determined to overcome our anxiety and panics that we think we have to feel 100% on top of everything always, and then we'll be 'normal' again, In reality very few people never feel anxiety, but the difference is that they don't examine the sensations as they are happening, they just accept that they are in an anxious situation, accept the feelings for what they really are, take a few deep breaths and go on.

Says me who feels claustrophobic in a polo-neck jumper!
Cathy xxx

[SueBee]

Hi Charlie,

I agree with Cathy, everyone is anxious at times.... I have always been anxious, for as long as I can remember, but I just used to accept it as part of who I was.

I have no idea what changed my thinking about me, the realisation that the anxiety was over the top and other people cant possibly feel like I do in times of stress . Maybe they do and either handle stress better or just feel anxious and just dont show it. I know people are amazed when I say that I suffer from anxiety because I hide it so well and appear confident.

Like you Charlie, I would love to just get up in the morning and just 'be' without having to constantly analyse how I'm gonna be that day. I just want to stop obsessing about how I feel and think 'just because, deal with it!!'

I know this doesnt help you in any way but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling as you do

[artistguy]

Don't forget that the only people without anxiety are dead.

[thevoicewithinme]

Hi...I too am like you. Today I went out to the shop and suddenly realised that I was feeling absolutely great and considered going for a drive somewhere, then in that split second I was then thinking 'but what if I get out of my safe zone and then panic?' Needless to say, I didn't go for a drive...I came home!

As said above, my mum reminded me only the other day, that 'normal people' also get nervous and that sometimes I should maybe stop and think that the situation I am in and feeling anxious about, is just maybe normal nerves..before my panic has a chance to take over?