Hello all,

It’s been a long time since I’ve used this to vent as I’ve been feeling well this year and have been trying to help others but ... here I am now back on the other side of it .

To explain, I found out I was pregnant (3 months along)
Before getting pregnant I was taking cannabis oil, tumeric and quiet life and I literally hadn’t felt better. I felt like myself again it was truely amazing.

Once finding out I was pregnant I had to stop it which is hard.
I don’t and have never wanted to take anti depressants they frighten me and I’d rather feel every emotion than none at all:. Even if I feel bad, I always wanted a clear head so that’s why I went the holistic route for meds.

First three months have been fine, if anything ..I thought wow I’m feeling fab.
Literally the last two days (since turning 12 weeks) BANG...
Whole change of mind set and feelings.
I had a bad headache at work Friday and it set me off so badly.
Literally yesterday my muscles were weak all day, I laid in bed ALL day.. exhausted.. worrying about my health. This obviously kicked it all off royaly as last night I felt out of it and out of control.

I actually forgot how this felt if I’m honest. It’s hit me kick a ton of bricks
. Clearly my hormones have spiked causing this massive change in me which sucks but you forget how to deal with it almost?
So the ocd reared it’s ugly head with the usual intrusive thoughts ..
A lot of my thoughts are based around losing control like a lot of us..
worried I’m going mad, losing my mind. What if I lose control, don’t know where I am or what I’m doing and kill my baby.. what if I go mad in public ..
What if I make a mistake and kill my child or don’t know what I’m doing and kill myself .. you know.. the usual lovely stuff .. 🙄

But it’s making me feel low.. and as many of you know. It makes you feel like your losing it.

I just wanted to know if anyone’s been through it during pregnancy or if anyone’s having bad intrusive thoughts about control right now.. just is good to have a chat with someone who gets it..

I know feeling exhausted isn’t helping me at the moment even though I’m sleeping a lot after work etc .. I’m changing my diet to healthy as we speak so as to even things out that side but just need some support..
Thanks lovelies cxxx