Re: constant symptoms; worried about mental health and physical health :(
Hi Tech, I hope you're doing okay (even though I know that seems like a silly thing for me to say)...
I think anyone on these forums can relate to exactly what you're going through - we all diagnose ourselves here, and it's a pretty bad habit, ahaha~ Been at this health anxiety thing since I was 8 or 9. I'm fortunate in myself that I sometimes get these weird 'breaks' from my HA... The downside with that is, when it returns, it seems to get worse than ever.
Though I can't relate to everything you experience, I've experienced a lot of those symptoms you get - I often feel malaise, weak, fatigued, helpless, and get very strange jitters and shakes. When I get to a particularly bad state, it feels like my mind is just going to... snap, somehow? It's hard to explain. I don't even panic most of the time, I'm just in a constant state of paranoia and fear. Somehow though, I feel like I NEED to panic, because I feel like it temporarily releases some of those crazy and unsettling sensations... But most of the time the panic attack never comes, and the feeling just sits there, sickening and horrible and requiring just SOME kind of relief...
I'm not sure why your mother won't let you seek therapy, but I hope you can find comfort in these forums, and if you're really needing to talk or something, feel free to shoot me a private message. I'm no therapist, but sometimes just talking with someone can give a bit of relief.
Are there any online therapy organisations that you can use? Even a phone therapy organisation? (Though I can personally understand if phones give you anxiety, but it's an option.)
Please hang in there. <3
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I'm a 23-year-old goofball who distracts herself with videogames and anime to try and forget her overwhelming anxiety!~ ヽ( ̄ω ̄ ; )ゝ