Hi,
I really found that being able to resolve the mental worry by accepting that my physical discomfort is always brought on by a thought, whether if can identify it or not, very helpful. Then understanding that most of what then happens is subconcious and not controllable by thinking is also a relief. It allowed me to stop a lot of the rumination and consciously trying to change the way I felt, which was prolonging the situation. I do not think my main problem is PA. It is more GAD.
I never have believed that my anxiety is going to do me major harm, but it does drag me down and spoil what should be a good and enjoyable life, as I have no other life problems.
As a result of keeping these things in mind, I started to give my mind a rest and after a few days I started to feel more calm. My sensitisation seemed to be calming down and things got quite good.
After about a week, I started to return to the old me. I was having days when I thought only occasionally about anxiety, and even then felt little reaction. How nice!
Then the thought arose, "what if it comes back" and I lose the progress I have made. This thought generated some anxiety and I felt myself slipping back. The feelings escalated over 24 hours to become almost panic. I find myself desperately trying to revert back to the good time. The sudden change back to high anxiety, nausea, sweating is such a contrast, it is shocking and distressing. The dread and doom with all the associated negative thoughts reduce me to despair.
Setbacks are well documented but I am so concerned that all the good work is being trashed.
The things I have learned must still be valid and I can see how I have thought my way into this setback.
But just how do you combat these distructive tendencies. I feel so doomed at this time that whenever I make progress they are dashed and I react so badly to the return of the lump in my stomach and the dread of another spell of despair.
So far I have resisted the urge to retreat and cry for relief. I have done so many times in the past and I am not sure it helps in the long run. I find myself unable to stop the constant trying to think correctly. I go round and round in my head repeating what I have read and trying to reassure myself, but these thoughts are constantly interrupted by fearful thoughts about failing to recover, which keep giving me spurts of adrenaline and resulting sensations of dread. This feeling of dread, and the sickly stomach is horrible.
This cycle of getting better, then doubting myself and sinking into setback is becoming regular, and almost habit.
Anyone else find this happening... What am I doing wrong?
Phil