hello everyone, Im holly
its been a long time since Ive been on here, iv almost forgot how to use this site LOL. well anyway when anxiety fist hit me, it was like a tonne of bricks! Looking back it was gradual, I would have an uneasy feeling or a sudden feeling of worry for no particular reason. This continued for what I remember as a few months, then one day I had a panic attack for the first time (at the time I did not know it was a panic attack I genuinely thought I would die or pass out) and that was the start of a long battle with my mind. From that day on, I have never been the same person, I never knew my mind could be so powerful to make me believe the things I did. I had almost straight away convinced myself that I had every single illness you could think of. No matter how crazy and far fetched, and the actual chances of me knowing "If" there was something seriously wrong with me was very low logically thinking, I still could not convince myself otherwise. After losing count of how many times I went to the doctors with my self diagnosed illnesses I finally decided to accept some help from a dear friend who also suffered with anxiety. This helped me in a major way, just knowing I had someone who knew exactly what I was going through and someone I could rely on to talk to confidently. Not everyone understands anxiety, if I hadnt been through it all myself I would not know the first thing about helping someone else through it. I still have anxiety (I think I always will) but I now know how to deal with it. My main problem now is OCD there are things I must do e.g if I am to get a drink I must wash my glass over and over again to make sure its clean before I will use it. Its a massive pain on a daily basis but I feel 100% better in myself now than I did when I had severe anxiety. In my opinion anxiety doesnt go away but it gets easier to deal with in time, that i can promise you. I didnt want to go into too much detail but if anyone would like to ask any questions or chat, that would be fine. I would like to be here for people going through the same thing to reach out to, anxiety is an extremely lonely place, I know all too well.