Re: lost inside of me
Yes I know exactly what you mean when you say that you feel that your old self is lost inside of you. I have been given so many weird looks, when I have tried to explain to people that the real me, the person I want to be, is stuck inside and can't get out...and I feel that she is slowly suffocating and if she can't get out soon...then she will be gone forever...the real me will die and I shall continue to exist day to day but not live.
I too, like you have found so much comfort from finding this site, knowing that there are other people out there like me and that I am not completely alone.
Lily, I can also relate to how you feel about not being able to plan things...and having to rely on other people (I read your post yesterday but sorry wasnt up to replying) and then when they let you down..you think what's the point?? More so when you are relying on that person to come do something with you, and you know the end result will be something that benefits your kids...because when they let you down...you then feel like a failure (which you aren't...you are an excellent mum) because the kids have been let down too.
Like you Lily, I so wish there was a magic wand.
Kaz x
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I am nothing special...I am just me!