Hi

I'm so glad i found this forum and i really hope someone on here can help me out.My panic attacks first started about 11 years ago and gradually went away and over time i forgot about them.
About 6 months ago they have returned and now they are worse than ever..i have been getting them ever since i started my new job and i am now on my fourth absence because of them.I work in a large building where there are a lot of people and its very busy all the time there..i enjoy the job very much and get paid well but it seems that everytime i go there now the panic attacks start.The symptoms are lightheadedness,a fear of passing out and an overwhelming desire to get the hell out of there...the most recent atttack being last Tuesday when i had to spend half of my working shift sitting outside getting fresh air and couldn't bring myself to go back inside for fear of panicking again.The managers are getting sick of this "regular" thing with me now and i cannot tell them about it because HR Dept will most likely think me unfit to do my job and terminate my contract.I am at risk of getting a written warning about my sickness record and cannot afford to lose my job because i have a wife and 3 children to provide for.My wife doesn't believe me anyway,she just thinks i don't want to work.My parents don't want to know either they just say that everyone has their problems and they tell me to stop whinging on.
When i went to visit my doctor on Wednesday he confirmed i had a panic disorder along with claustrophobia and suggested i take anti depressants which i declined,i am however taking a natural herb called St Johns Wort which he recommended as an alternative to medicine.He also said that i need to find a job working outdoors but there are not any in my area and i don't drive

I am still in great fear of going back to work on Monday cos of these damned panic attacks and don't know what else to do now