IM I GOING TO LOSE IT.

[laz]

HELLO
IM 44 AND PROBABLY BEEN SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY ALL MY ADULT LIFE.IT RESULTED IN ME SUFFERING PANIC AND GENERAL ANXIETY AROUND TRAVELLING AND HEALTH ISSUES.TO CUT ALONG STORY I HAVE BEEN DOWN THE USUAL AVE OF TREATMENT DOCTORS PSYCHOLOGISTS SRRI DIAZEPAM AND THEY HAVE HELPED ME.BUT NO PERMANANT SOLUTION.
BRINGING YOU UP TO THE PRESENT I AM IN THE WORST STATE I HAVE EVER BEEN IN.MY SON WHO IS 15 HAS BEEN DIAGONISED OCD ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, although he hasnt lived with me for 10 years.THIS HAS WORRIED ME TREMENDIOUSLY.IN FACT CONSTANTLY OBBESSING ABOUT IT MOST OF THE DAY.THIS HAS HAD A TERRIBLE EFFECT ON MY OWN ANXIETY AND HEALTH. I CANNOT SLEEP AND FEEL WORRIED ALL THE TIME.IN THE LAST THREE WEEKS I HAVE GETTING THESE THOUGHTS WHICH ARE DISTURBING ME .EVERY TIME I PICK UP A KNIVE I THINK IM GOING TO STICK INTO ONE OF MY FAMILY OR IMGOING TO HARM THEM IN SOME WAY.ALSO I BEEN HAVINGTHOUGHTS OF HARMING OTHERS LIKE HITTING STRANGERS OR THROUGHING HOT TEA ON OTHERS.....................
THESE THOUGHTS REALLY DISTURB ME BECAUSE WHEN THEY HAPPEN IT FEELS A S THOUGH ITS GOING TO HAPPEN. I FEEL DEVASTED AND FEEL THAT I HAVE NO FUTURE.ITS TORTURE AND WHAT I IF IDID IT.I FEEL SO ANXIOUS ALLDAY I CANNOT SLEEP JUST 2 HOURS.
I WENT TO DOCTORS AND HE PRESCRIBED ME CITALOPRAM 20MG AND REFERRED TO PYSCH TEAM FOR ASSESMENT FIVE DAYS AGO.
IM SO DESERPRATE.

[trac67]

Hi Laz,
Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some great friends.
I am on citalopram too, and they really helped to give me the boost i needed to remain positive.
You will get throught this, we all have our light at the end of the tunnel, just sometimes it is harder to find and sometimes the tunnel seems very long, but by remaining positive you will get there, it is possible and can be done.
Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwitten'

[Barb]

Hi Iaz

Welcome to the site, i could have wrote that post years ago, every thought you put down i used to have it used to terrify me and i was uncomfortable around children especially. But i found Dr Claire Wweeks books and realised i was never going to harm anyone ( thoughts not instructions ) as Meg will tell you when she comes along later, i only occasionly get them now and i just dismiss them and carry on.

Barb xxx

[Karen]

Hi Laz

Welcome to the forum. Sounds like it is a stressful time for you at present with you own anxiety and your son's diagnosis of OCD.

Many people have thoughts like you are experiencing now but don't actually act on the thoughts. The fact that they scare you shows that you would not choose to carry these through and it is merely another manifestation of anxiety.

We all have thousands of thoughts passing through our brains every day and non-anxious people don't dwell on these thoughts but just let them pass. When you are anxious these can start to become obsessive as you focus on the thought and then worry about it. However, these are just thoughts and not instructions.

When you find yourself experiencing obsessive thoughts make a conscious decision to distract yourself by doing something else - anything that takes your full attention. This can help.

I am glad your doctor has referred you for some help. The medication can take a few weeks before you notice any benefits so you need to give this a bit of time.

Hope we can help and support you through this.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

Yes. Thoughts not instructions

Energy follows thought. Think scared = be scared.


odd thoughts...
Strange thoughts....Anyone else?
Silly thoughts

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/lounge /topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3799
Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts
'what if this is it this time thoughts'
Mind racing?
The Battle that Rages in my Head
Where does it come from?
obsessional negative thoughts
what if I kill someone?
Horrible thoughts
Morbid thoughts
Confused?


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[chucklehound]

Hi Laz and welcome to NMP where you will get lots of support and

make some new friends too!

Take Care

Chucklehound
xxx

[mum2four]

Have you ever been any medication that is anti depresant/OCD med these med's stop the repeated unneeded messages from getting threw. I was recently put on luvox(flavoxamine meleate) 50mg and it reduced the intensity of my thinking dramaicly after one dose. I stop an intence scratching habbit of 6 year's fully with in 3 day's. Not only that I have been on the med's for about 3 week's now and I'm not haveing the thought's/images in my head that make me feel so anxious. I use to look at window and imedatly and get thought's and image's of someone just smashing it and grabing me and thing's like that. When I was in car I use get thought and image's of every posible way of having a accidant when eva a car was to close to us or doing did something illegal that might have impacted on us in some way if thay'd lost control or stuffed up.

I dont much about the way you think but if your son has just beed diagnoised with OCD there is a good chance that maybe you stuggle with simular obsessive thought's but in a different way. I recently came across soemthing called OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder) and oh my it discribe's me to a T I posted about in the OCD section if you haven't seen it already. It is different to OCD in that people with OCPD dont feel the need to repeat action in order to stop the thought's in there head from accuring. I'm still reserching it so I dont have a full understanding of yet but that's was one of the difference's that I understood to be.

I have a son with asperger syndrome and he also has slight ODC as part . of sypmtom's of asperger's. It has been learning about aspeger and watching him closly that has made me wonder what if my thinking is not something that I can control 100% either. Since being on these med's I have come to the clonclusion that maybe I was right about it. I noticing a lot difference in my thinking these day's.

It's a just some thing to concider if you have never been on any sort of OCD med's. I was given the med's for anxiety.

[cam]

hey laz youll find this site will help alot i did, it good talkin to people in the same boat as yourself, hope its helps you....probably catch you around tace care...... cameron

[nomorepanic]

Hi Laz

A warm welcome aboard.

I think that quite a few of us have had those "what if" thoughts at some time or another and whilst they are very scary they are not harmful and I am sure you would never even consider hurting anyone.

Hope you can get some help on here.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard!!

"If life were simple, word would have got around"