first counselling session
Hi all,
had my first couselling session this morning and to be honest i'm a bit upset and disappointed.
Basically I'm 24 and in my final year of training to be a midwife. Just out of the blue I have started having panic attacks (3 full on attacks so far) and constant low grade anxiety for the last 2 weeks. It's making me feel like I am losing my mind. Nothing around me looks or feels the same as it used to a few weeks ago and the weirdest thing is that I thought I was fine, just was enjoying life, going to work, being with friends and now I feel like it's been taken away from me. I have good periods and bad periods, sometime I almost feel like normal and other times I'm completely detached, anxious, nervous and my mind just races, am just terrified.. I also experience random pains in my chest which seems to move around. The first night I had a panic attack I had no idea what was going on, I thought I was dying and went to A&E. They ran lots of tests and I am physically well, but I still seem to sometimes be convinced I'm dying.
So that's a bit of background but in a nut shell i just feel constantly anxious and i just don't know why.
I went to see a counsellor, through the counselling service at my university, which seems well organised and thought out. i have also been referred for counselling from the mental health team through my GP, but this may take time so i'm doing this in the mean time to try and be proactive.
but i felt so fobbed off by the counsellor. i didn't expect her to solve my anxiety or make it all go away but she basically told me that im just making it worse but feeling anxious about being anxious. well obviously i am anxious about being anxious but where is it coming from? i now just feel like it's all my own fault, that i'm bringing it on myself and that if i want it to stop i have to do it myself and i just don't know how. i really don't. i try to rationalise my symptoms and i am trying to distract myself by doing things but i just feel so deflated that she basically told me i was causing it myself. if i am im not doing in consciously, really i'm not. just feel really confused now.
does anyone else have experience of counselling? i just wonder if maybe this lady has seen too many soppy students who are just a bit wound up before an exam, but i feel like what's happening to me is so much more than that and i just wanna be taken seriously. i wonder if the counselling with the mental health team might be more useful to me. i dunno, im just so new to all this and i want to do the right thing so i can get my life back.
sorry for the huge ramble, any help would be much appreciated. xxx
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