Hello

i have been trying desperately to fight this alone staying positive and thinking positive and even pretending to all around me that evertying is better than it is.
Well..it isnt :/ and if anyone could pelase offer support or advice i'd be very grateful.

..i dont know where to begin.. my story is a long one so i'll give you how it is now.

*First the motorway phobia came - cant go on motorways.

* Then i had a gigantic panic attack on a train (a kind stranger had to sit with me the whole 10 hour journey after delays etc because i ended up screaming on the floor for help which has never ever happened in public before - so cant go on those anymore).

* I passed my driving test after years of on and off lessons due to the illness. Had it for a few months, had to give it in for medical reasons and when i got it back can no longer drive without panic.

This is problematic as

* my hometown is 300 miles from where i go to uni so my mum has to accompany me when i go back for hols (in late 20s this is not what i want!) and it takes 12 hours by A roads.

* i have a pt job very important to me which is about 50 miles away and its getting to the point where im thinking of having to quit.

* the only therapy available to me over the holidays is based 1 1/2 hours away so i've missed 3 sessions in a row and am due to go today (terrified) ..

*Almost all my friends live miles from me

* to add to things now have something wrong with my ears, making me feel constantly ill/ dizzy/ unreal/ hot and cold and they say they cant fix it before returning to uni this makes travelling even more scary as i also have health anxiety.

* This has meant if i go out in public i feel ill instantly. I have fought this but still havent been into the city (which i have to do today if im to get to therapy!)

I have been trying the following:

*Avoiding avoidance When i have to go somewhere, going despite how i feel. I got almost 20 mins before my destination (about 40 mins on train) last time when the train became too packed for me to manage and i had to get off and go home, since then havent been on train.
(didnt realise also had ear prob then either so that wouldnt be helping!!)
This works mostly, however the ear problems are now making it nearly impossible especially with driving.

* mindfulness- observing my surroundings, taste of sweets sips of water

* distraction- music, reading, imagination, daydeaming

* self CBT - recorrecting my thoughts '(This is just panic, i'm ok its natural to feel anxious but i an get off at the next stop if i need to)

But none of it works anymore i'm now so afraid -im begnning to feel i'll never be able to crack this.

Hope this ramble made some sense and there is some form of light at the end of the non accessible tunnel

Many, many thanks xxx