Hello everyone

[Deekon]

Hi everyone, I'm Deekon and 6 months ago my world was turned upside down.

I had just returned from a trip to Hawaii and felt something was off. I was suddenly having trouble focusing on my computer. A week later I woke up feeling off balance and then some dizziness. I went to the ER, nothing found. I relaxed, started to get better and then bam back again, but this time with a bonus... anxiety!

So basically for the last 6 months I have struggled with physical and mental symptoms of anixety, but I was still sure that something was phyiscally wrong with me. I have seen 9 doctors and have had MRI's, cat scans, ENG, cardiogram etc. I have seen ENTs, neurologists, eye docs, cardiologists and GP's. I have had blood work, brain tests, hearing tests etc. Not one thing was found to be wrong with me. I have no answers to why I feel this way.

I have been getting episodes of feeling off balance (mainly in open spaces or when standing still) and also episodes of trouble focusing, feeling jittery and jelly legs. They are usually short and never happen at home. they only happen when I am out. I have noticed that I am ususally stressed or anxious when it happens.

I am here because I am out of doctor options and I read the main page and they explained all my symptoms and I want to fight this on a mental level. I just started therapy and I really like it. I am not thrilled to try medications and I want to control this on my own.

I am very positive and I will not let this take over my life. I know I can combat it. I am not afraid to walk into situations that bother me, I just go for it and deal with the dizziness. However, it's hard sometimes. I start to wonder if I will ever feel better and back to my normal self. I am here because I want to be part of a community that I think we help me. I look forward to talking to you all.

Deekon

[diane07]

Hi Deekon

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[paula lynne]

Hi Deekon, welcome aboard !Most of us here can completely empathize with what youre going through, youre not alone. Take the time to read the info in the left hand column, and its good to meet you. Best wishes, Paula (aka Nessa) x

[phil6]

Hi Deekon,
What you are descibing is classic anxiety... My best advise is to drop the battling... You sound very brave and determined but words like "battling" etc seem to suggest that you fight against these symptoms. You deperately want to make them go away, (like we all do).
The only way that worked for me was to do the opposite. Face them and accept them. The thing about anxiety symptoms that if you stop and actually try and make them do their worst, they subside. This is because you do this without fear, and fear is the issue.
Give up the battle, let them come. If you can carry on without concentrating on these symptoms (difficult I know) with the right attitude (that you don't care what is happening) then they will go away.
It is our fear of the feelings coming that causes them to come. No fear, no panic and eventually, no problem. But this does take time and practice. You eventually break the vicious cycle.

I had 3 years of battling.... then with pratice have had 10 years of relative peace (apart form the odd few bad days).Now I am having a bad few weeks and have joined this site for a bit of support, but I am getting through it again once I have remembered the "right way"

Phil

[Deekon]

Thank you Phil and you're right. I have gone weeks with no issues and I realized that it was because I really wasn't thinking about it. Prior to my hiccup this weekend, I felt very good for two weeks. I have also noticed that I can deal with the symptoms when they are happening and it's a relief. I had a few bad weeks some time ago where I was so scared that I would never be normal again and that I couldn't do anything. I was able to get out of that with a little family help. I also noticed that talking to people makes me feel better. So I am working on taking my mind off it, but like you said it is difficult. It's hard not to be bothered and to not get upset when I get dizzy because I feel terrible. But I feel worse if I just go home and lock myself away. Therapy has helped and I know there is no "off" switch. It's a process and it will take time to get there. The one thing I still wonder is that without exaggeration, I literally woke up one day with physical symtoms. Can that happen with anxiety?

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP
Paige x

[phil6]

I think there are no rules with how this starts... Anything can invoke a feeling of fear, even a car horn can make you jump...Usually people discard this and get back to normal quickly... I guess we all made note of it and were concerned by it.. We worried about it... we wanted to know why. We added fear ... and the cycle begins...
PHIL