I really feel like I have reached the stage where I'm fed up with trying with my anxiety.

I went through a very bad Seroxat withdrawal last year and was put on Citalapram.

The Citalapram took ages to work and when it did begin to have an effect it wasn't that effective. My dosage was increased gradually over a few months.

Because the depression and anxiety were not getting much better the dosage was increased to 60mg to see if that would alleviate my symptoms. It did help but t hen I developed dry eye syndrome which was incredibly painful.

A psychiatrist deals with my medication because when I was in Seroxat withdrawal my doctor didn't really know how to handle it.

The psychiatrist wanted to mix the Citalapram (at a smaller dosage) with Nortriptylene which is a tricyclic. I was prepared to do this but not over keen.

When I did take the two meds together I felt zombieish and my eye problem was worse.

I have been reducing the Citalapram over the last 6 weeks and am now on a dosage of 10mg plus 75mg Nortriptylene.

The psychiatrist recommended that the Nortriptylene dosage be raised to 100mg. However, two weeks after having been on the Nortriptylene I had to have an ecg. A side effect of this medication can be abnormal heart rythm.

My doctor called me a couple of hours after I had had the ecg and told me not to increase the Nortriptylene as the ecg was showing up an abnormal heart rythm. I was really shocked by this, I certainly had had no inidcation that my heart wasn't performing properly.

I have just had a second ecg today and if the result is still showing arrythmia (medical term) - then I will probably have to come off th is medication as well!!

I feel low at the moment and for the last two weeks my anxiety has been a lot worse. I am having bad panics and it's really getting me down. I think the panics are to do with my withdrawal from Citalapram.

If anyone has been through anything like this then I would be pleased to hear from you.

For the last year I have battled with anxiety and depression. I have put myself in situations which induce panic and have just gritted my teeth, I have tried not to avoid things and was coping a little better.

Now the panics seem determined to return again despite all my efforts and it just makes me feel like throwing the towel in and not trying any more.

My immediate response when I start to get panic symptoms is that I want to burst into tears. I have mentioned it before on this forum and people have said that they do at times feel the same during panic.

Psychologists, counsellors and gp's will tell you never to hold the tears in and to let them out as it's a release of tension. When I get panicky say in a supermarket and I get the urge to cry I cannot stand and cry. I really don't know how to deal with it all any more.

Take care all

Yvonne





Y Goble