Hi

was talking to my cbt therapist, she told me to write it all down and work through it. the next time I see my cbt therapist I have the info ready to go onto 3 mind maps. She knew something was wrong when I spoke to her on the phone. she could tell. here goes.

am suppose to recognize when going from a high to a low and being in-between. for some reason, I didn't notice. to have a look at what happened what may have caused it. and anything else that causing me problems.


right now I feel alright, after resting for couple of days again.

can get so weak, exhausted. don't know what part of it is bi-polar or not. (not sure).


I got all muddled, then started to go down the spirally slop, felt so tired, was not refreshed when waking up. was more tired when woke up.

Felt so exhausted, so burnt out, my whole body was in agony, the pain was terrible. (any time in the past of being burnt out, dont get the pain with it).

I couldn't understand it what was causing me to feel so exhausted. I kept pushing myself to do my voluntary work.

but had to in the end take time off. to get well again. pushed myself to the limits. when started to climb out of the pit, well that's what I think it was a depression pit, started to feel better, however left with sore aching joints at my elbows and shoulders and whole arms are sore. when the pain covers the whole arms its so draining.

now that part I don't think is bi-polar.

the first part is, the muddled, going into a depression pit, but I didn't feel depressed. (could have been depressed, that's what cbt therapist says)

I've been exhausted before, burnt out, but not left with sore arms. gee my arms are weak as it is, don't need this on top of it. (was born with a form of weakness in my arms and legs). this on top of it, not right.

there something I can no longer do, though I still make my arm do it, just so darn sore to do so. its disabling.

I was the one that suggested to cbt therapist we do 3 mind maps, this helps to see what could have happened. I like to write it down before going to cbt therapy, then when I've got it mind mapped can take it to the drs, cause I'll have a clear picture of what I want to tell my gp.

---------- Post added at 19:41 ---------- Previous post was at 19:30 ----------

Now that I've written down what how I felt, and still feel at times exhausted. now to work out what caused it to start.

I know that I took on something more than I can cope with. just need to find out what that was. I thought it was one thing, until I thought about something else. gee, seems I took on more than I thought I took on. just need to work out what it was. which caused me to get muddled etc...