Hi

Tomorrow is first day back after half term, and the dread is even worse then ever, my panic attacks are just getting worse - I just hate having to leave the safety of my own house to pick the children up but I know the day I give in and do not go, will be the worst day of my life, cause it will be so hard to do it ever again.

The school is only a 10 min drive, but I am dreading it. Tonight we sold our caravan that we have owned for 2 years, once again I thought it would help having a caravan as it would be like having my home on my back! - only used it a few times, 20 mins down the road, so decided it was a waste of time having it this season. My two children were really upset when it went and I couldnt stop crying - I guess I felt I'd failed once again - Why do these panic attacks rule our lives so much.

Today I have spent £200, for three months membership, on a local gym in the hope that I will try and go on a regular basis, take the children swimming with my husband and try and lead a bit of a normal life - its only 10 mins drive, but already dreading the weekend when we will be going. I guess this will be a total waste of money and in three months time I will be no further down the line to feeling any better.

I'm sorry to go on and on - but just so fed up with feeling so ill - maybe one day somebody will find some miracle cure for PA's.

Take Care

Lisa P