I've received bad news at the clinic this afternoon.

This morning I was given hope that I might finally get CBT after having had an assessment and being accepted subject to funding by a really nice lady therapist - the wife of the therapist who runs our group sessions. She said she thought she would be able to help me and that she would do a report requesting a minimum of 30 sessions plus continued attendance at the day clinic.

However, by lunchtime it had all gone wrong. Julia had received a letter from the PCT to say that my funding to attend the clinic is being stopped at the end of this week. She said she is shocked at the way they've suddenly discontinued treatment and given no time to prepare me to cope alone.

She phoned and spoke to the panel representative to try to get more time but it is hopeless. They are not prepared to pay for more than this week's sessions and they won't pay for me to see the CBT therapist either. Apparently I have to wait for contact from someone from the CMHT. Well that's the end for me then :(.

I'm not going back to the CMHT. It all goes on the numbers on a sheet of paper. My BMI is not low enough and my blood test results are back within normal so I am no longer a priority case. It seems you have to be physically very unwell or they don't want to know.

I guess I'll just go back to starving myself. What's the point in going on? I might as well give up now.

Karen