Hi everyone.

I've been lurking on here for a while reading some of the fantastic articles written up here so i figured i would finally get around to posting my story, and see if anyone can offer any advice.

Last thursday i noticed a small red lump on the very side of my testicles, right up against my inner thigh. So i thought "oh it's just a dirt spot" and tried to pop it. Some clear fluid came out and it went down. I went to sleep and woke up on the friday only to find it was still there.

I immediately began to feel incredibly anxious, my hear started beating really fast and i started shaking because i was under the impression "oh god it's cancer" or something similar. So being the responsible 24 year old man i am, i rang up my local doctors and made an appointment with my GP, which of course they could only fit me in on Tuesday (tomorrow).

Since then, i've been panicking almost non-stop during the days, i've fiddled around down there trying to find something. Anything. To confirm that there's something wrong. Since Friday i've felt a discomfort, not a pain or anything, just an odd sort of feeling from down there. I'm not entirely sure if it's just my brain playing tricks on me or if it's genuinely swollen or something. I have no clue what i'm feeling for honestly.

Fast track to last night. I had an incredible struggle to even get to sleep because my body would not relax. My poor girlfriend has been doing her best to reassure me everything will be okay at the Doctors tomorrow. But my brain continously goes through the motions of "what if i i have to live with it" "What if i can't have kids" "What if it's incurable". And the cycle repeats itself until it drives me mad. I broke down crying on saturday infront of her, which i haven't done for the whole 3 years we've been together. To top it off i haven't had "morning wood" for the past 2/3 mornings. I'm not even sure if it's normal, could it be down to my anxiety and panic attacks before i sleep? I am constantly waking up during the night too.

It's becoming tiresome not being able to focus on anything just knowing that it's at the back of my mind and i can feel the panic creep up inside me whenever i feel anything slightly off down in my testicles. I'm honestly hoping it's nothing serious when i go to my GP. But at the same time i hope she finds something to alleviate my concern if you know what i mean?

Sorry to ramble on and kudos to anyone who has read this far, any advice, or success stories of people who have been in this kind of situation before would be appreciated.