I'm not doing great as some of you know. Have been unwell since October and run a bit of an obstacle course of medications.The list is terrible when you look at it!

Originally on escitalopram, had bad reaction to increasing the dose so tapered off.

Tried quetiapine briefly, olanzapine, disasterous attempts as sertraline and citalopram over Xmas.

Currently on 30 mg Mirtazapine for the past 4 months. Half way through a taper off diazepam. Still on Zopiclone for sleep which isn't working any more but too scared to stop it and have more withdrawals.

I was doing a lot better, still nowhere near my old self, but better.

This past week and a half crawling out of my skin with anxiety 24/7 after a major panic attack in the night. Feeling now as bad as when starting up on the SSRIs. Almost no sleep, trouble with leaving the house, scared being on my own, really struggling to drive.

I've made an appointment to see psychiatrist on Wednesday and at a bit of a loss. Previously when I wasn't really getting anywhere with the Mirt she wanted to add Venlafaxine and I resisted and things kind of improved on their own. But now, I can't go on like this. I'm worried about becoming a shut in as not far off it currently.

It's only been a week and a half and by all accounts it's common to have blips and relapses on the way to recovery but this one isn't shifting.

So what am I asking? I guess some input on starting venlafaxine and what to expect. Should I add an SSRI again which have worked in the past? Or do I wait this out? I can't seem to talk myself out of it and so of course it's spiralling. My mood is now very low but I don't believe depression is the issue. I am worried about anything which will stimulate me further.