As few of you already know, my relationship has been on the brink for quite a while now. My partner hasn't made an effort to see me or our daughter this week and we haven't seen him since Sunday and won't until tomorrow as he has to wait in for someone this evening. I've basically told him there's no point anymore and I'm sick of trying. He doesn't seem bothered.

Other than my daughter, I haven't seen anybody I know since Sunday and I feel really lonely. I do like to be alone too, but all day for 3 days is so difficult. I usually meet a relative on a Wednesday in town but they're not going today. So another day alone. Feeling so down, for the past decade my partner has been pretty much my only company (bar a few hours here and there with relatives), now it seems I just have to accept he isn't interested.

I don't feel comfortable around my relatives, I have to watch what I say as they always have an opinion on things. I can't even discipline my daughter without being undermined so if she's there with me I spend the whole time nervous in case she acts up and I have to tell her off (she rarely does but does occasionally). I only have one friend who I rarely meet up with. I feel like a complete loser.

I feel so sickly today, don't really know what to do with myself anymore. Not interested in TV (I do like some programmes but usually can't pay attention unless I'm in bed), I've eye strain so can't read at the moment. No point leaving the house as nowhere to go and can't stand going for walks, with anybody never mind alone. It's another Sunny day which always makes me feel worse.

Just feel so low and down in the dumps. The school run is really getting me down it always makes me sweat which makes my face greasy, which makes me feel even worse. I look unkempt a lot as I have really dark circles, spots and greasy skin and my hair is in terrible condition (a relative thinks it could be stress as my hair was always lovely and shiny until I started feeling really low and also developed dark circles at the same time) so even if I get a little overheated my hair turns into a frizzy mess. I just can't see any purpose. I've been getting blurry vision in my left eye too, which is starting to unsettle me. I just don't feel right.

Sorry to anybody who reads this for yet another miserable post I just feel horrible. Each month things seem worse. I feel so low and whilst being single isn't the worst thing in the world, I crave intimacy so bad. I've had virtually no sex life for the past 5 years and it's really, really getting me down.