last nights nightmares were a familiar pattern,sudden waking followed by hours of panic and fear,then slipping back into exhausted sleep.in this sleep the nightmares worsen.this time i screamed the name of one of the abusers in what was a religious building,i awoke immediately and felt the soaked bed around me.i jumped up,spinning dizzy with a pounding heart and a sense of utter devastation.screaming out at them seems like a triumph,i guess it is,but the fear involved in facing them is like being beaten black and blue.still,i managed to get my daughter to school
got home (with babba aswell),gave beth a bottle,then collapsed into bed when my wife took over the babycare.
tired of being tired sick of being sick
ade