Hey guys,

since Nov/Dec last year, I have had a period of panic attacks and suicidal feelings in reaction to anxiety symptoms. I have managed to get through the harder stages and become better.

My main issue right now is stages where I feel like I'm allergic to everything. Everything I see, every note I hear, the space that surrounds me. It's very bizarre and extremely uncomfortable. It's like I'm being suffocated by every single 'thing' that exists, almost like I'm allergic to being alive.

I feel a strong sense of claustrophobia and cabin fever when I experience this, no matter where I am, even outside... possibly like I'm trapped in my own body.
Yet it's also being bothered by every detail colour, colour, texture, dimension, concept etc. and how they work together. And all at once so it feels as if my brain has crashed and its misfiring thousands of cross-wired signals.

Yet, I know I want to live and know what I normally love. I do remember to observe the mind rather than caught up on it. However, this 'sensation' is very strong and manages to pull me back a lot as the trigger is every thing! It's like the mind is attacking itself... The best way I could describe it is being the opposite of peace. It can be absolutely unbearable but I have had happier days this year!
Can anyone please enlighten me on what this may be and how to deal?
Is it possible the panic attacks are a pre-cursor to something that's a bit more complex?

Thank you!