Any other loners who dont belong in society?

[mark84]

Hi,
I can't have too many people around me because of social anxiety, more people in my life means more anxiety.
I have only ever found a handful of people that I feel good with, trust and can relax around, and probably since I was in my mid teens those people have moved on, lost touch or gone their separate ways with me. The one or two new ones who I've worked hard to bring and keep in my life since developing social anxiety have faded away. This is much worse than never having the people there in the first place.
I feel I'm not interesting, or off putting in some way, whilst I've been told I'm charming, funny, kind, caring and very empathetic by people(now gone) but though that's lovely to hear there's no evidence for it. Other people have lots of fun together.
I had a cat who as silly as it sounds helped me lots over the years, havinghim since from a kitten since 1999, he was always there, and in his own feline way he cared lots- he'd sit on my knee when I cried, he'd do silly things which made me laugh until he passed on February the 12th of this year.
Since that point I've felt very depressed, that there is no safety net for me and no support system other than the health service (which is just people doing their job, as nice as they are) I am convinced I don't belong with this society.
I like to help people and see them happy, but I don't think they like to do the same with me, I am not worth as much.
If i'mnot working i watch TV ldocumentaries in the evenings, and although they're probably staged somewhat I see people living out in the wilderness without anyone. I can't tell if this would help or hurt me, maybe if it is like there are no other people I can be myself and just imagine it's me in the whole world rather than having a whole world on my doorstep full of people that aren't accessible to me.
Do others share this feeling of rejection by society?

---------- Post added at 12:40 ---------- Previous post was at 12:34 ----------

I am worried that when I pass no one will be at my funeral and the thought embarrasses me.