Hello, i'm ellen
i feel weird doing this but im on my own and need someone to talk to. I feel to bad letting my parents or boyfriend know cos it brings them down.
im 23 and about 18 months ago my life fell apart for no reason. i started having panic attacks and anxiety. ive been through medication and couselling but none of it has cured me. i had a spell of doing nothing, not even eating or dressing but i got through that by fighting. ive managed to get a part time job in a call centre cos a nice lady at an agency had panic attacks and sorted it out for me, but now im scared im going to lose it again cos i keep calling in sick when i cant handle it.
i just want to know why it isnt getting any easier. ive read all the books and done all the exercises. i dont avoid things ive been fighting like hell, and even though ive managed to do things they just aren't getting any easier. every day feels like a battle to do the simplest things.
ive applied to do a course at university next year, but realistically i cant see how it could happen. I vaguely thought that by next sept id be okay, but this has been happening for nearly two years now and i still cant do things as simple as going to work every day. i feel like ive done everything im supposed to do and its all failed. i cant go on like this, i feel the fight is almost running out in me.