Hi all

I've been struggling with health anxiety for a long time and think it's time to do something about it. So I chose to talk about it on here rather than collapsing into a Dr Google search rabbit-hole like I usually do.

For years, and I don't know why, I constantly have the worry that I have some rare disease. This ranges from ALS to Mad Cow Disease to Rabies, but most frequently my worry is that I have cancer. I just seem to get over one fear when another pops up. For reference, I'm in my late twenties with no underlying health conditions, I don't smoke and I drink socially - one or two drinks 1-3 times a week depending on the time of year, work etc. I don't take any drugs or medications, legal or illegal.

My most recent fear relates to oral cancer. I have these faint white marks on the front of my gums, and despite the dentist and oral surgeon having a look and giving me the okay for a separate oral issue a year ago, I now worry that they might have missed these marks since I didn't point them out at the time. I get dental check ups twice a year and at my last appointment was told my gums and teeth are fine, but am now worried since my next appointment isn't until mid-June. I know from Googling this last year that this could be leukoplakia, a pre-cancerous condition of the gums.

I seem to get stuck in a kind of loop of scaring myself: look for or notice a symptom, Google it to dispel anxious obsession over it, Google inevitably says it could be/is cancer, go to see the doctor/dentist/other health professional, health professional says it's fine or sends me for tests that say its fine, temporary relief, notice another symptom (repeat).

Does anyone else have any advice for this or struggle with it? I have been to so many doctor's appointments for so many different issues, always afraid that I will miss something that could be a deadly disease and feeling guilty for wasting the doctor's time. I imagine that by now the doctors know I am a hypochondriac.

I have this fear that I will leave something too long or not get it checked out, and that it will turn out to be cancer that goes untreated, spreads, becomes terminal and then kills me. I have these unwanted repeated images of being diagnosed with cancer, of being told by the doctor that I am going to die, of dying young in a hostel having not lived my life, in pain and unable to console my loved ones, wishing I had only gotten it checked out by the doctor sooner.

I am so stuck and this is stopping me from living my life.

Can anyone help?

thank you