Just doing anything simple that involves me moving is causing anger and frustration. I do nothing all day, no job, nothing. Zero motivation and zero confidence. I've no confidence in doctors to find me help I need. I don't know what to do with myself . Ever since covid lockdowns my anxiety and life has dropped to suicide levels.

Social Anxiety
GAD
Depression

I've had maybe 5-6 jobs in the past 2 years. I can't handle a days work now. I just feel like an empty shell, no sense of self and emotional.
I'm in my room all day if not in bed. I'm playing games just to keep my mind ticking over or I'd be lying there looking up at the ceiling all day every day.

I need to exercise but the block I've got going on is huge.
I walk to the garage for the bike, if the garage doesn't open immediately Instant anger. If I manage to get past that . If anything is blocking the bike. Instant anger and give up and retreat back to my room and cry because I'm a failure. This lifestyle I'm living is running me into the ground. Just putting my clothes on is sends my heart rate up over 120.

Being outside where people can see me, I just don't feel comfortable.

No social skills at all that can contribute to a conversation in the real world . I've been like this since I was 18. 25+ years later I'm still no better. NO kids, not married, not interested in getting out to meet people. Isolation is always there, not so much loneliness.

I keep thinking of how many past has lead me to now and what my future holds and it scares me to death. What's worse is I can't help myself to improve. My family are getting fed up as well.