I realise that’s the ultimate question and maybe too hard for anyone to answer?!
A bit of background. I’m a (as far as any of us can be aware) healthy 40 something. 3 weeks ago I had what I believe is a focal seizure. I googled (big mistake, and I’ll come onto that shortly) and it advised that I should see a doctor, so I saw a gp the following day. She did various physical neurological tests (following her finger with my eyes, touching my nose etc.) and it was all fine. She did partly think I might have had a focal seizure following my description of what happened, but called the referral service (whilst I was there) for a second opinion and their view was that it wasn’t an obvious seizure. GP then sent me on my merry way and said if it happens again “go to A&E”.
It hasn’t happened again, but ever since, because of my fateful googling at the time, I’ve got it into my head that it’s a brain tumour. I’ve found myself feeling off balance, and keep walking into things/dropping things/mishandling things (for example I’ll accidentally bash a mug into the a shelf in the kitchen cupboard in the process of trying to put it onto the shelf). I wake up feeling anxious about the day ahead, and find myself shaking quite a lot. I can totally recognise that some (possibly all?) of this is due to anxiety, but I’m really struggling to stop it. I’ve managed to stay off googling brain tumours, but the damage is already done. I can recall (when I did google, after the ‘seizure’ incident) that it said focal seizures are a common first symptom, and brain tumours can also affect your peripheral vision etc. so I can’t get it out of my head that this is what I’m experiencing. The trouble is, I now don’t know whether these disturbing symptoms are a new sign of neurological issues or whether it’s all anxiety. And of course when the symptoms happen, I feel even more anxious! It’s a vicious circle. I’m managing to keep myself vaguely sane by the knowledge that brain tumours are very rare. I think something like 1 in 33,000.
I should add that I had sinusitis & feeling of full ears when the ‘seizure’ incident happened. I have a history of recurring sinus problems (runs in the family) and so I have been desperately trying to link the possible seizure to that, but can’t find a strong link (and have to be super wary about googling as inevitably anything to do with seizures goes right to brain tumours). I did mention the sinus thing to doctor but she didn’t really comment. I’ve still got the full ear thing going on now (they pop a lot during the day).
I don’t expect anyone here to tell me whether I did or didn’t have a seizure. None of us are doctors after all! I’m after some advice on tips to stop thinking about brain tumours so I can hopefully stop with the clumsy symptoms and stop feeling so damn anxious.
Thanks in advance x
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