I am sure you will all agree some times of the year are harder than others.
i know for a fact a couple of my friends are struggling at the moment.
I am finding this week very hard and emotional, BUT I know i am better than this time last year, perhaps that is why it is harder because this time last year I didnt really care about anything but I do now, I care about getting over this anxiety and depression, and other things,I care about getting my life back so why is it its always the same things that cause a problem.Why cant i just get over it and get on.pull myself together!!
Tomorrow I finish work for my holidays and instead of thinking about the holiday away I have got and all the other things in between, which I couldnt do I am thinking about a few hours tomorrow night when people will be out and about for a drink and a meal to celebrate the start of the holiday and I will be sat at home.thinking about it being a year since my last and really first MAJOR panic.I wont be wallowing in self pity,(I hope) I will be relieved I havent gone but part of me also tells me to go because I want to. i dont think I will ever get back to the bubbly outgoing person I was and this bothers me.
I think it is because Ive had a busy week again that I feel like this but some day life has to get back to what it was.
The support from the people on this site especially on msn and pms is wonderful and I am convinced that is why I am as good as I am today. Just need to sleep and get less "what ifs" and fast pounding hearts now, Love Alexis,xx