I was just in my kitchen and was making egg's on toast with the lot tomartoe, pinalpple, bung fritz, cheese and cup a tea. While the frustration is prety much gone and the intence need to have thing's a certain way has decreased with Luvox. I still hearing this little me inside me wispering to me about thing's not being in the right order ect. I found it far easier to choose what to eat but once i decided to have the eggs on toast i continued to do them in the same way i alway do. I alway get everything out that I feel like eating set it up on the counter in roughly the same position. I get everything out in the same sort of order I make sure my bread is in the toaster before I start cooking but i dont push it down. I then get the egg's ring's in the pan at the front of the pan and i spray oil on them I cut the tomartoe the same way every time and put it the pan first in the middle and then i push the toast down then put the egg's in the egg ring after put water in them first to reduce the frying effect and then put the pinapple in the pan at the back of the pan after I turn the tomatoe over then i cut the fritz up and put it the pan. While it's all cooking I trying to even it all and make it look perfect and cook it perfect so that i all hopfully enes up being cook at the same time. When the toast pops up i alway butter it the same way and put vegimite(you may not know what that is but it's very Aussie lol) . Then the cheese go's on first then fritz , pinaplle, egg, tomatoe. Basicly size order so it all sit's perfect and i can cut it the way i like to cut it which is in 9 squarish piece and I drink some of the tea evry 3 peice's.

I dont all way do it that way because thing distract me i get all muddled but if dosn't go to plan I can feel the frustration building slowing with every thing that dosn't go to plan. Today I was in the kitchen my self and could hear my self trying to convince my self that the silly coment's i was making about the wrong order or a better order or wrong timeing ect ect that i was being silly and it didn't matter ect ect. It was a quiet argumet today with my self but It just made me realise how much i feel i need to have thing go to plan.

What I discribed cant posible be what every one dose when thay make food. This is what is really making feel like I some sort of OCD. I do this with everything i did in a day. Before Luvox i would have swore black and blue that i was right and let me go ect There a small part of me that did try think i need to change but I couldn't find the the button to turn it off only had the strenght to walk away and leave people when My erg to take over got real intence. If I wan't in the room I couldn't see what thay were doing wrong in my eye's and the frustration would slowly decrease as I managed to distract my self.

Am I wrong in thinking this sort of thinking could be PURE O OCD.

thinking less and feeling better every day.