Well I'm due to leave on Saturday morning for a 6000km motorcycle trip and I'm becomming more anxious the closer it gets. I really want to go and I'm excited and I always get a bit anxious before a big ride but this is the biggest I've ever done. I haven't ridden that much since my panic disorder raised it's head again and especially since I started to get vertigo about 6 weeks ago. This has since gotten much better but I'm still feeling dizzy on and off mainly at work. I have also had what feels like a slight chest cold the last couple of weeks which is not suprising since most people in my office are sick! I guess some old feelings of doubt are starting to arise about what if it's not just panic attacks and I get really ill in some remote area. (we are riding Sydney - Uluru and back) I'm sure when I leave this office on Friday afternoon I'll feel great knowing that I don't have to come back for two weeks and have so much adventure ahead of me but I can't shake the bad feelings right now. I have finished my counselling with my psychologist who believes I'm doing well, but I'm just really lacking in confidence right now.

I hope I'm able to relax in these next few days so I don't completely lose it the morning of departure! My partner is so excited I haven't even mentioned how anxious I am.

M.