Dear all...
I'm so glad to find a place for a bit of interaction with other people who are in a similar situtation.

My story is this: I've always been anxious, but in the last few years (finishing my undergraduate degree, starting my postgraduate degree) it's got out of control. It manifests itself by me vomiting, shaking and wanting to smoke all the time. I was OK recently, but then last week decided to try to quit smoking. It didn't work, and since then I've been smoking far more than I used to. I went from 5 a day to twenty a day, going to the shops at 6am to buy cigarettes.

I went to my GP and she said we need to address the anxiety before the smoking, and put me on a short course of diazepam and beta blockers. It didn't used to be the case, but all I think about is smoking. I'm terrified of quitting but als terrified of still doing it. I have heard tha if someone very anxious quits, it can send them over the edge and I'm afraid I'll end up suicidal. Yesterday, I took my diazepam at 6am and actually felt pretty OK most of the day, didn't have the next one til 6pm. I phoned the doctor and she said it was good because it was ME feeling that way, and not the pills. I'm a bit shakier today, thougg. Can't stop thinking about smoking, can't stop doing it. Thinking about food makes me want to vomit.

I'm so sorry for the rant, but I'm so scared and would very much appreciate any experience from anyone else to compare. Thank you.