hey guys.. this is my first real post on here i wont go into to much detail about my child hood and personal problems i have had over the passed year or so but what i want to talk about its the passed 3 months, since
i lost my job which was the result of 2 panic attacks.. i have felt that i have been unable to go anywhere where there is people i dont know or a group of people. im still ok with friends coming over as long as its to my house. but im finding it extremely hard to venture further than this. i have been to the doctors where he has pescribed me propranolol but i feel this is doing nothing for me.. also i was wondering if anyone else has difficulty in going to the doctors also? for example sitting in the waiting room.. i sit there and feel completely out of place, i feel like everyone is watching me, picking out how anxious i look, which is when i start to feel like im overheating and feeling really dizzy, ive often wondered if this is anxiety or wether it could be classed as paranoia..?
ive read alot of stuff on the internet over the passed couple of months and i still havnt been able to come up to a conclussion wether i will be able to return to normal or not?
i know this may seem really petty as there is people alot worse of than myself and i count myself lucky to be alive and almost healthy.. i wonder if some of you agree that if we could beat this thing we would all grab life by the horns and enjoy every moment of it, but at the moment i dont feel like i could even go to the shops up the road to buy something.
ahwell im just posting aswell to see if anyone has any tips as my relatives are coming over from australia for christmas and im dreading it, worrying what they will think of me and also having to open my presents infront of everyone and them seeing my reactions..
anyway thankyou for reading this and i look forward to reading your replies.
hope all of you are doing fine and i wish you a merry christmas and all the best for the future
*hugs*
bearzy