Hi All - New to this site but not new to the wonders of panic/anxiety. Thought I would share my experience and also look for a bit of advice

I first started with anxiety and panic disorder a year and 4 months ago. Couldn't understand what was wrong - all the pains, feeling disorientated, vertigo, gastro problems - I thought I had lost the plot. Every week I went to the doctors with chest pains, stomach pains muscle pains suspecting it was all life threatening and each week I got told it was something else - this went on for a few months until my own GP diagnosed me with panic disorder/OCD and bordering on hypochrondiac. I was also told I have GERD and put on meds for this.

Initially meds for the anxiety were offered and I downright refused them - told myself I was beating this by myself. I was referred to a waiting list to see a pyscologist. Started doing light exercise - relaxtion techniques etc etc. Still had panic attacks -started going weekly to A and E instead of docs as the attacks happened mainly at night. I was convinced that either I was gonna have a heart attack, stroke or had a blood clot somewhere in my body. My head was so messed up all I did was check my body for symptoms - then google each and every one of them.

I then started therapy - was meant to be CBT as far as I ermember, we walked through various feelings - identified triggers and actions and all seemed to start to imrpove - if slowly. But then in late November i had my worst panic attack / breakdown ever - i couldn't hold it together anymore - cried constantly and just felt that I was at the end of the line. i ended up going to my GP and actually asking for meds - I had hit my breaking point and was down the road on the wrong side of it.

i started on Citalopram 10mg for 2 weeks then the dose was increased to 20mg per day which i had been talking for just over 8 months. I had the indro symptoms as they are called - felt 20 times woerse, shaking, trembling, sweats, pains weird creeping sensations under the skin, dizziness, nausea but these settled down after the first month. Each month things semed to improve - less of the anxiety symptoms, no panic attacks, started to feel happier and more like my old self. So at 8 minths my GP advised we could reduce the meds with a plan to stop. I redced as instructed at 20mg every other day for 2 weeks, 10 mg every day for 2 weeks, then 10 mg every other day for 2 weeks.
And then everything hit the fan again! Since stopping I feel like I am back at square one but with some new funky symptoms that are driving me insane with worry. All the old anxiety symptoms seem to be back - plus some newbies of waking at night with racing pulse, severe dizziness, weird out of body like feelings and the urge to scream and pull my hair out.
I am due to see a doctor today as I just can't handle this - I would hate to think i am relapsing and am hoping everthing is caused by the withdrawal, in saying that I want it all to go away!
I have read other peoples posts on withdrawal and can def sympathise - head zaps, palpitations like never before, headaches, sweating, dry mouth, irritability, vertigo and general feeling like I've gone mad again.

I'm really hoping this doc will be able to help - I don't wanna have to take the meds again but if that is the only option I think i'll have to - or end up being 'her again' at my local A and E!

Floss