I didn’t know where to put this post, but I hope here is OK …..

There has been a chain of events since my last post, so I’ll explain best I can.

My Dad sadly passed away suddenly Thursday 29th January, my son came down with earache and a tummy upset on 3rd/4th & 5th February, and with a long drive looming, and having panic attacks on motorways, dual carriageways and in traffic jams, and worrying about if I’m going to be sick on the day or not (even though I’m not ill). So as you can imagine with son throwing up and big day to attend with long drive the anxiety took over.

Luckily I had the psychotherapist on Thursday the day before the funeral, and I came out with the lot about how nervous I was and everything. He suggested I could ask the doctor for a tranquilliser, and also to take a stemitil which would curb any nausea (I have stemitil for nausea when I get migraines), that way I shouldn’t have to think about the fear of being sick because I wouldn’t be.

I went home feeling better than I had. Come Friday I took the stemitil, but I did not see the doctor for any tranqullisers, my thoughts were “I can do this”. My partner drove there and back and I was a little nervous about throwing up, even though I didn’t feel sick. Then I had to go in the car with my dads partner and her grown up children behind the he**** on a 10 mile drive - I was nervous, but I kept calm. Basically I got through the whole day and was absolutely fine. And in the end the anxiety did not get the better of me.

I’m so glad I decided not to take the easy way out with the tranquillisers. Although it was tempting under the circumstances.

So I guess one successful story. Some people reading this probably think whats the big deal, but when you have a fear or suffer panic attacks in certain situations it’s a very big deal – and lets face it we all have fears.

My next challenge is a christening in a few weeks time in Portsmouth. And I will do the A3 and the motorway into Portsmouth – I’m determined to, and I will have my partner in the car in case of panic. I’m also going to try not to even think about “what if I’m sick”. I still carry a carrier bag in my handbag though just in case.

My therapist says I’m a very strong willed person and that I will get through this, I mustn’t ever think that I won’t. He classes me so far as a success because most people give up going or doing the breathing and exercises and just take tablets, but he says I’m using my mind to conquer my fears.

Speak to you all soon,
Ruth
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