To CIT or not to CIT - that is the question...

[victor1983]

Hi all,

I am a 27 year old guy and over the last year or so I have started becoming aware that I have mental health issues, issues which I probably have had for years and not realized.

Basically what I am trying to decide is, even though what I have is OCD / health anxiety / some depression, I am not really so heavily depressed and I don't know whether I can get out of this without anti-depressants.

To sum things up, last winter I felt very low, I was heavily depressed, very emotionally numb, wasn't doing many social things, didnt really know anybody, stayed at home all day everyday, slept/ was tired a lot, and lived pretty much on my own, had occasional feelings of emptiness, pointlessness and suicide.

Fast forward 6 months later (without anti-depressants, I never took them), I am now doing some volunteering in a poor shelter, I am playing football twice a week, tennis once a week, meeting people socially. I have decent apetite. I guess the only thing that is lacking is I still don't really look forward to anything that much (only very slightly), and the feelings of well-being and joy that I used to have are still not there.

In my life, after doing a lot of reading and thinking, I think I have come to the conclusion that my OCD / health anxiety / slight depressive state is linked to the fact that I am not sexually active, i.e. I don't have a girlfriend. I seem to remember a while back when I had a girlfriend and had sex, my mood was much higher, and had feelings of well-being and good apetite, and also I had no OCD/ health anxiety (literally none).

After all this typing, I am trying to figure out, if I have come so far without anti-ds, and my mood has changed so much for the better without any anti-ds, should I carry on without them.

I guess what I am scared of is that without anti-ds, it might take me a much longer time to find a girlfriend (since I remember when I wasn't depressed I felt more attractive and attracted to women), whereas now I am more lukewarm towards them, and my libido is still not 100%.

Should I tough it out without anti-ds, or should I go on citalopram for say 6-12 months, try and get a girlfriend, and then come off them? Since I honestly believe this OCD / health anxiety is basically unfulfilled sexual drive. (Even Freud said that).

I mean really, I don't feel that bad, not way near how I felt last winter. I am still not 100 per cent, but I would not classify what I have as more than light-moderate depressive state, definitely not heavy. I don't know. Part of me wants the quick and easy way out with the anti-ds, rather than the long hard road of making life-style changes (putting in a lot of effort in meeting women to try and get a girlfriend) which I know will help me. Maybe it's just my character, I am impatient and I want solutions quickly, rather than have to work for them. And maybe that's what anti-ds are, quick solutions for impatient people like me.

Thanks all.