OK, so they aren't strictly related.
I can't calm down. I've doubled my dose of valium, and listened to my relaxation CD and tried to get my breathing sorted but am getting nowhere. I can't stop shaking and crying.
The first reason is because my therapist promised she would email yesterday and didn't. I usually get upset when she doesn't email, but she never normally promises, so I was completely gutted, and keep crying about that. I emailed her and said how I feel about it, which has made me feel even worse, especially as I haven't had a response yet. Realistically I know she is busy etc, but I can't rely on anyone else at the moment and need some input, all I want from her is a bit of reassurance...
The bigger reason is I have been trying to get an appointment with my doctor back home for over a week. I'd normally be OK with waiting, and even went to see the doctor here about my wrist pain, but the doctor at home treated it before and she has my notes and knows me, and the ones here don't- so I can't do anything about it except wait and it's getting worse. That and I also wanted to discuss the eating issues with her for the same reason. I phoned the surgery again today, as was told to wait til Friday to see if her appointments were unblocked or not, and the receptionist was really rude as she said there weren't any, and I asked if the situation was like to change ie. she gets better. Ended up crying before I even hung up. :(
I know this seems like nothing. But I am so upset.
"I just wanna live my life sedated, cos I love driving myself away"